Paris is coming to town! . . .

So now it's come to this. . . . our culture that is. I got to the back page of the first section of yesterday's Sunday News and there she was. . . . Paris Hilton. . . . the celebrity who exists solely for the sake of celebrity. She's flying through the air with that crazy lazy "Who am I? Where Am I?" and "Hey, I'm posing for your again. Keep snapping those pictures." look that's become so familiar. This time she's flying through the glittery air with fairy wings and a magic wand in a promotional ad for her new line of fragrances known as Fairy Dust. I look at her photo and wonder if she's serious. How can you do this and not laugh????And if she is serious, why?

Then, I read on. Paris is coming to our local mall. Not only that, I could be one of 300 customers "to make a qualifying purchase from the Fairy Dust by Paris Hilton fragrance collection and receive an autographed picture from Paris herself." How can this be? Well, Paris is serious. And because of our ridiculous obsession with celebrity she's going to be making some serious money when she gets to Lancaster. If I want to meet Paris and have my photo taken with her, I have a choice of spending $135 for Package Number One, or $166 for Package Number Two. Do the math. If 300 people purchase Package Number One, that's $40,500! If 300 people purchase Package Number Two, that's $49,800! Not bad for a few hours "work." But I wind up the real winner because - as the ad tells me - "a kiss of fairy dust" and my "dreams come true."

Hmmmmm. . . . my dreams would come true. That's left me wondering. . . . let's say I pay the $135.00 and I'm one of the first in line. Then, while I'm standing with Paris I spray a little misty squirt of Fairy Dust on my neck (oh, is that the proper place for it?). Would Paris then disappear right before my very eyes? Not from the face of the earth, but from her position of cultural prominence and influence? Should I try this?

I just looked at the full-page ad again. If space aliens on a reconnaissance mission landed and this piece of my newspaper was the only thing they found, what would they think of us? Better yet, what should we think of ourselves?

Oh. . . . and if only we could catch the CPYU fragrance in a bottle and sell it. . . .