Draft Outlook in a Lockout Year

by Connor Witt

The memorable. The outrageous. The surprising. The boneheaded. The NBA Draft has had it all.

In 2011, there’s no promise in that we’ll get to witness a prospect relegated to the green room as long as Rashard Lewis or a draft day suit to rival Jalen Rose’s red pinstriped number. But it is certain to be particularly interesting because of the NBA’s outlook for next year.

“Labor Uncertainty.” It’s every NBA pundit’s favorite phrase when looking ahead to the 2011 offseason. But let’s not beat around the bush, everyone and their sister knows that a lockout is on the horizon. We don’t know if it will swallow a whole season, but it is universally accepted that the 2011-12 season will not be the full 82 games. One effect of the lockout has already become apparent from the field of early entrants. Freshman standouts and lottery prospects Harrison Barnes, Jared Sullinger, and Perry Jones have all spurned the league to return for their sophomore campaigns. For those elite players, the choice to stay in school merely means deferring the millions they stand to make. But as a result of their decisions, a wave of second-tier players have entered an already weak draft. To this second group – unproven talents like Tristan Thompson, Tyler Honeycutt, and Tobias Harris – this year’s draft provides a unique opportunity to receive the coveted guaranteed contract that comes with being a first rounder, even if they have to wait a year to see a paycheck.

Another result: with the threat of a lost season, NBA teams will be even more inclined to spend a pick on a foreign project that can continue to improve overseas. As my fellow draftaholics know, this is a recipe for the awkward mispronunciations that David Stern has made into an art form. Just imagine: Donatas Motiejunas, Jan Vesely, Jonas Valanciunas, Nikola Mirotic, and my personal favorite, Bismack Biyombo all in the first round. Magical. Whether or not this draft class possesses the potential to succeed in the league, there is no doubt it has the potential to produce a record number of Stern fumbles and stumbles.

Old School Pic of the Week 5/2

For decades it has been thought that Wilt's moniker "The Big Dipper" came from having to dip his head under doorways as he passed through. However, this recently recovered photo now makes it clear that the name originated from his fondness for the occasional dip in the remote lagoons of the Caribbean. Mystery solved.

Court Adjourned.

The Dilemma of a Seattle Sonics Fan in 2011

by Connor Witt

I generally try to refrain from being a resentful Seattle sports fan who cries about losing his pro basketball team to a bunch of conniving thieves parading as honest basketball owners Oklahoma City, but on Wednesday night TNT left me no choice. After Kevin Durant completed his superhuman fourth quarter to will OKC to a series-clinching victory, TNT displayed a graphic proclaiming that this was Oklahoma City's first playoff series win since 2005. Well, TNT - in case no one had informed you - the Oklahoma City Thunder franchise did not exist prior to 2008. Alright, that's just me being bitter. Of course I know the station was referring to the Seattle Sonics' 4-1 victory over Sacramento in the first round six years ago, but Oklahoma can't lay any claim to that series. I get it, I get it, it's technically the same franchise with shared records so TNT isn't "wrong" per se. But everything that has transpired throughout the whole relocation process gives Oklahoma City no right to call anything the Sonics accomplished their own. I believe that OKC owner Clay Bennett forfeited that right somewhere between promising to keep the team in Seattle, demanding the city build him a new arena on their dime, the now-infamous "I am a man possessed!" e-mail, and ruining 41 years of basketball tradition in Seattle. (The documentary "Sonicsgate: Requiem for a Team" provides much more detail on all the injustices that took place in the relocation saga. I recommend it.)

But the real problem for me at the moment isn't TNT running that particular graphic. It isn't even with Clay Bennett stealing my city's team, my team. The problem I'm facing is simpler: the Thunder are really really good, and I'm having trouble restraining my urge to become a fan.

In 2008, when Clay Bennett ripped the still-beating heart out of my chest and handed it to me in a fast-food takeout bag moved the Sonics to Oklahoma City, I vowed that I could never root for any team he owned. For the most part, I've been very true to my promise. It hasn't been so easy though. Now don't get me wrong here, I haven't gone soft, I haven't forgotten what happened to my city, and I don't despise Clay Bennett any less than I did in 2008. What's hard for me to ignore is that the guys going out there and dominating the Nuggets in the first round were my guys not so long ago.

Nick Collison was a fan favorite in Seattle. We respected his hustle on the court and his blandness off of it was endearing in an ironic sort of way. Seattle fans loved him like America loved McLovin in Superbad. Both filled the role of the charming goof, the guy whose skills were lacking but that you pulled for anyway. Rising stars Russell Westbrook and Serge Ibaka never donned the green and gold, but every time we see Westbrook's high-flying dunks or Ibaka's thunderous blocks Sonics diehards know that those are our 2008 number 4 and 24 picks out there (and no, I didn't have to look that up. It seems us Sonics fans aren't very forgetful about the past.)

And then there's Kevin Durant.

I was first amazed by Durant when I passed by him at a hotel restaurant in Spokane, Washington during the 2007 NCAA tournament. He was successfully taking a phone call in his left hand while texting one-handed on a Sidekick with his right. A Sidekick, that's a QWERTY keyboard! I should have known he was destined for NBA stardom at that very moment. In May '07 when the Sonics were awarded the second draft pick in the lottery I immediately grabbed a green sharpie and drew a #35 jersey onto a white shirt so I could be the first one representing Durant at school the next day. In Durant, we had the future of basketball playing in our backyard and we embraced him even though our '07-'08 team had little else to brag about. We may not have had many wins, but we had the second best thing, hope. Then the whole city had the proverbial rug yanked from beneath us and next thing we knew the Durantula was a Thunderclap, or Thunderbolt, or whatever the hell you call one individual member of the Thunder.

At first my loathing for Clay Bennett and bitterness toward the whole relocation debacle made it easy to resent the Thunder. I put aside the reverence I held for Durant & Co. and put full force behind scorning my former franchise. I made it through the first two seasons of Thunder basketball in that mindset without wavering. But something different happened this year; OKC rose from a team happy just to make the playoffs to a true contender in the West. Along the way they began playing an exciting brand of basketball characterized by Westbrook's speed in the open court, Ibaka's presence down low, Durant's elite scoring ability, and James Harden's awesome beard outside shooting. It became increasingly difficult for me to watch them play and fight off the urge to enjoy what I was witnessing. I watched Durant explode for 44 on Christmas Day and I caught myself sneaking guilty fist pumps after a dunk or clutch 3. Since the playoffs began, it's become even tougher on me. Durant is still the same guy whose handcrafted jersey I wore so proudly just three years ago, how can I be expected to deny his heroics just because I don't like the guy who cuts his paychecks?

(For such a simple game, basketball evokes my inner philosopher like few other things.)

Where was I? Oh, that's right, because the guy who cuts his checks screwed my city on a scale never before seen in professional sports and heisted the team that I had grown up worshiping. But as KD rained jumpers on the Nuggets in the fourth en route to 41 points Wednesday night, it made me wonder. How long will it take me to forgive the whole OKC franchise for their injustices against Seattle? At the moment I don't have the answer. Maybe when Bennett is no longer the owner, maybe when professional basketball returns to Seattle, maybe when Satan issues a formal press release stating that he has begun construction on a subdivision of the underworld made specially for Bennett and his ownership group. I don't know.

This is the dilemma of a Seattle Sonics fan in 2011.


Court Adjourned.

Forecast of Heat

by Connor Witt

July 8, 2010. 9PM Eastern. The Decision.

We all remember where we were when LeBron James so famously informed the world that he would be taking his talents to South Beach. To most, these words made LeBron a villain, a coward, and a traitor. But while the rest of the country was busy crucifying James for betraying his hometown, I was curious what the implications would be on the basketball court.

There was no shortage of theories. Jeff van Gundy insisted that this team would not lose twice in a row all season, and he predicted they would beat the regular season record of 72 wins. Others doubted the Heat, concerned that the egos of Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and LeBron James would prevent the team from jelling. How will the team survive with two incredibly ball-dominant scorers in the same backcourt? Who would take the last shot? How will they win with no frontcourt depth? Before the Heat had even played a game together Miami’s Big Three were the hottest discussion in sports.

For me though, the Miami Heat were an opportunity. At age 19 currently, I was too young to fully appreciate the great NBA teams of the recent past. I never got to see the great Showtime Lakers or Bird’s Celtics. I was only seven when Jordan sunk what we thought was his final shot to beat the Jazz and complete the Bulls’ second three-peat. I remember the Lakers’ dynasty at the beginning of the 2000s, but was not old enough to really appreciate it from a basketball standpoint. But with LeBron’s decision, I had hope that I would finally be able to witness a truly great team that I could appreciate for their ability. It was as if LeBron was speaking directly to me when he made his projections for the Heat’s future upon his arrival in Miami. The Heat have shown flashes of greatness this season, but they will need to demonstrate greater urgency than they did in Sunday’s Game 4 if they want to both make their vision and my basketball fantasy come true.

NBA Should-Be Awards

As the NBA regular season comes to a close this week, it’s that time of year when a panel of sports broadcasters and journalists submit their votes for the NBA's Most Valuable Player. It has been probable since the All-Star break that Chicago’s Derrick Rose would earn the MVP award, and it became a near lock when two-time reigning MVP LeBron James endorsed Rose for the award in late March. So now that King James and the media have settled that debate, it’s only fitting that we move on to the awards that might still provide some intrigue. No, I’m not talking about Rookie, 6^th Man, or Defensive Player of the Year. I’m referring to the non-existent awards the NBA should hand out, inspired by the God of basketball journalism himself, Bill Simmons. These are the NBA Should-Be Awards.

Karl Malone Award: Named in honor of everyone's favorite former Rogaine endorser, this honor is bestowed to the player with the most prominent hair loss issues. While many players in the league with male pattern baldness take the plunge and shave their heads completely, this award is reserved for the player with the most outstanding coat of thinning locks. In a close call between finalists Chris Kaman and Manu Ginobili, the trophy has to go to Ginobili for the increased exposure his balding noggin received for being named to the Western Conference All-Star team.

Tyson Chandler momentarily pries
his focus from Ginobili's bald patch
in order to convert a lay-up

Frederic Weis Award: The award is given to the player on the receiving end of the season’s most magnificent dunk. It was named after former 7’2” French center Frederic Weis, who never played in an NBA game but nonetheless rose to considerable fame for getting posterized harder than any player in human history during the 2000 Summer Olympics. This year’s award belongs to Timofey Mozgov, who learned the hard way not to bother Blake Griffin while he is busy dunking. Though Mozgov takes home the award, Othyus Jeffers nearly stole the honor late in the season for his unsuccessful attempt to draw a charge on LeBron James.

Most Improved Tattoos Award: While the award for the NBA’s Most Improved Player is still very much undecided, the Most Improved Tattoos Award was a landslide. Chris “Birdman” Andersen was already in the running for most tatted player in the league before the 2010-11 season began, but his most recent ink hardly went unnoticed. In typical Birdman fashion, his newest masterpiece spanning from jugular to jugular incorporates all the colors of the rainbow and reads “FREE BIRD,” clearly in reference to his nickname (and his status as one of the few players ever expelled from the league). However, it will be difficult for Birdman to notch back-to-back Most Improved Tattoos Awards, as his 6’11” frame seems to be running out of real estate. Only time will tell if Birdman has the boldness to explore the lone unexplored frontier: his face.

Could the tattooed stars on Birdman's ears indicate his

intentions to tattoo his whole face? We'll have to wait and see

Court Adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week

For the inaugural Old School Pic of the Week, I had to pay homage to the hometown and our former franchise with this 1980 Sports Illustrated cover featuring Paul Westphal. This is the first of my Seattle Sonics posts, but certainly not the last. If I haven't made it clear that I was still pretty bitter about to Sonics' relocation to Oklahoma City, it should become quite apparent soon enough.

Court Adjourned.

I Am Not Dead

I know you were all quite worried about why there was no GOTW on Friday.  Well allow me to explain what happened.  It is a pretty long story...my boss got sick and asked me to work Friday.  I worked until 11 p.m. on Thursday and then got a call at 5:40 a.m.  I made it to work around 7:00.  I was pretty much running on two hours of sleep.  Needless to say, I did not do much Friday night except for sleep.  The rest of the weekend was spent working 6:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.  I hate waking up early.  So what else has been going on?

P90X
Yes, I decided to start P90X.  It is pretty damn hardcore.  The first day I did the chest/back disc and I made it the whole way through.  Granted, I toned it down and set low goals.  I have a small chest, I figured I would not be able to do the same thing as my buddy Tony Horton.  Also, I do not have a pull-up bar, so I had to improvise with weights...

The next day was plyometrics.  Lindsey did it with me and she was able to go a little more hardcore than me.  I had to stop about 3/4 of the way through because I thought I might have a heart attack.  I will keep at it though.  I did shoulders and arms by myself, and it was actually the easiest one for me.  I should probably buy a heavier set of weights though (I used Lindsey's 8 lb. weights, but did more reps). 

After that was yoga.  For the love of god that shit was hard.  We made it about 30 minutes into it.  I think I need to buy a yoga mat and maybe do that one upstairs from now one.  I made it through the next one which was legs/back.  Again, without a pull-up bar it was a little difficult.  The leg workouts were killer though, I could barely walk after.

Morris' Tavern
Lindsey and I went to this place to eat on Saturday.  They had decent food, but that was not the main attraction.  The entire place is decked out with stuffed animals.  Apparently the owner is a huge hunter.  I want to go back and check out the upstairs, it apparently has animals he shot in Africa.  Pretty cool.

NCAA Tournament
Wow, what a great tournament.  What a terrible bracket for me though...Congratulations to Ryan.  And no, you do not win a yard gnome.  In fact, you win the right to be known as a true basketball fan...way to go.  Anyways, I am pulling for Butler to win it.  I will be watching the game at a bar the night before a seminar.

Conclusion
Sorry, but I am tired and going to bed.  I will try to write up the pitching results for our fantasy league.  I will also leave you with a late, half-ass GOTW.

 
She is missing a leg...get it?  Half-assed...whatever, I need to hire a new joke writer.

College Basketball Time

Congratulations to Penn State for making it to the NCAA March Madness Tournament.  It seems like just yesterday that they were beating North Carolina and advancing to the Sweet 16.  Sadly, that was 2001.  I can still remember arriving to work (I worked at a little bar outside of Philipsburg) and turning one of the TVs to the basketball game.  I watched as PSU beat #2 UNC, much to the complaints of the patrons.  Most of the comments I heard were things like this "why the hell are we watching basketball?  We are missing the race."  Granted, the race was on many of the other screens and sadly, I do not think it was even an actual race.  I think it was some qualifier.

I am betting that most of you did not know that I was a huge basketball fan.  It started in the late 80s.  My uncle got me into basketball, mainly watching the Bulls.  In 1994, baseball went on strike and it ruined my perception of my favorite sport.  I quit watching baseball and pretty much became a huge basketball fan.  It was around this time that I really started watching college basketball.

I did not have any particular team, I just enjoyed watching good teams play.  When I reached high school, my friends and I would go to the Bryce Jordan Center to watch Penn State.  It was only natural that I would gravitate towards being a fan of the Nittany Lions, since I was a fan of their football program.

The cool thing was that we watched the team that did so well in 2001 come up as freshmen.  Joe Crispin, Titus Ivory, and the rest of the crew amazed us all by beating the Tar Heels.  They then lost to Temple.  After that season, I stopped following college basketball and instead focused on baseball.  Apparently I have troubles following multiple sports.  It also did not help that PSU pretty much sucked during that era.

Anyways, this all leads me to a point:  I have another NCAA Tournament Challenge!  What did you think I was going to say?  I will be cheering for Penn State, especially since they take on Temple in the first round, it seems almost fitting.   This does not mean that I will all of a sudden come back to being a basketball fan.

NCAA Tourney Challenge!

Hey everyone, I am setting up a NCAA men's basketball tournament challenge.  You know the drill, fill out the bracket and we shall see who wins.

Here is the link.  The password is yummy, the group name is The Pancake Challenge, the group ID is 44802.  There is no money involved, too hard to gather the money, so it is just for fun.  Maybe I will award the winner some kind of prize...

Good luck to everyone...

MARCH MADNESS!

It is that time of year folks. College basketball's glory time. March Madness baby! Offord has set up a bracket over at Yahoo. We have decided that it is $10 to play. Obviously there is a difficulty in paying us directly, so we have come up with a few solutions. Either you can send us the money (or hand it to us directly if you are close enough), if you do not give us the money, you can still play, but you will not be eligible to win any of the money. Offord, Kern, and myself will be collectors.

Here is the information for anyone interested. We would love to have as many people play as possible...

Group ID#: 33625
Password: offord

March Madness Pool Results

Kansas wins the tournament and causes massive upheaval in our pool. Gideon was winning, but Offord and Meinecke were close behind. In order for Gideon to win, Memphis had to win. He had North Carolina beating Memphis, which meant he could get no points, but neither could Offord or Meinecke. I guess Offord was also eliminated from winning it as well, since they both had Kansas winning.

I went from last place to fifth place (out of eight, not too impressive). So congratulations to Meinecke, next time I see you, I will buy you a beer as a prize.

Poll Results & March Madness Picks

Well this poll had to do with the Pirates. You guys seem to think the Beloved Bucs will not be .500, but not nearly as bad as I predict. Well, I am tired of being overly optimistic each season and then being let down by season's end, err I mean, May.

Who will win March Madness this year?

Anyways, let us all get into the fun and play against one another. At espn.com you can join my bracket, Ngewosworld and the password is josh.

Poll Results

Obviously no one gives two shits about the NBA. Which is kind of a shame. I mean, from what I understand, this year is pretty exciting considering the Western Conference is really only close and like nine teams are still in the thick of things.

Oh well. New poll question: Should body paint be an acceptable form of clothing?

Fantasy Sports

First, I would like to invite anyone to come on and join my March Madness Pool on espn.com. The league name is eatnpark, and the password is: ryanisgay. There is no money involved, unless someone wants to start a wager. I will definitely lose.

We had our fantasy baseball draft yesterday, I think my team looks okay as of right now. Part of me wants to do a ZIPS projection on them, then figure out what that would mean for my end of year stats, but that takes time...Although I have nothing better to do, this could be fun.

Anyways, here is my team, and where I drafted them.

1. Alex Rodriguez-3B
2. Carl Crawford-OF
3. Justin Morneau-1B
4. Carlos Zambrano-SP
5. Chone Figgins-2B,3B,OF
6. Felix Hernandez-SP
7. Kenji Johjima-C
8. Trevor Hoffman-RP
9. Alex Rios-OF
10. Chris Young-SP
11. J.D. Drew-OF
12. Erik Bedard-SP
13. Hank Blalock
14. Orlando Cabrera-SS
15. Kerry Wood-SP
16. Ian Snell-SP
17. Salomon Torres-RP
18. Ryan Freel-2B,3B,OF
19. Austin Kearns-OF
20. Duaner Sanchez-RP
21. Luke Scott-OF
22. Troy Tulowitski-SS
23. Ronny Paulino-C

After doing the ZiPS projections for my team, by their calculations, my team is about a 3rd place team. That is just hitter wise, I have yet to look at the pitchers.