How to Fix True Blood

Obviously you know what this post is about.  This season has been pretty terrible.  What could they do to fix the show for next season?  Here are my ideas:

-Obviously they are not going to kill Sookie.  It would be great, but it will not happen.  Instead though, they need to focus a good bit less on the love triangle and maybe never mention the whole faerie thing ever again.

-Too many useless characters.  First, get rid of Tara.  She is absolutely unnecessary.  Her views go completely against Sookie's beliefs.  Might as well kill her off this season.  If you want someone who Sookie can talk to about her problems, use Jason.  He is more interesting anyway, since he has positive and negative vampire experiences.

-Speaking of Jason, they need to keep his character more consistent.  Keep him as a cop, I actually like that idea.  I am glad they eliminated the whole were-panther story (I am sure it will pop back up though).  In fact, I like the idea of his role being more involved with the vampire community as a cop, maybe covering up things for Bill (with help from Jessica).

-Jessica naked.

-The entire story needs to be vampire related.  The interesting thing about the first season was the way we saw how society reacted to vampires.  Those are also some of the good parts of this season.  Focus more on that and less on idiotic villains.  No witches, no demigods, no werewolves, no werebadgers, or anything else.  They can exist in this world, but they are not the big story.

-Also, we need to know more about vampire politics.  Who are the Authority?  How and why did they divide the U.S. into a kingdom per state?  How come some of the oldest vampires (Godric, and to a lesser extent Eric) are just sheriffs of small areas.  Could they just kill the king or queen and take it over? 

-Keep Sam's story just the way it is.  Seriously one of the few good things about the show.  Except, maybe have him work at the bar a little more often.  Also, what happened to him being in love with Sookie?  I realize he grew out of that, but he and her have no interaction whatsoever. 

-Can someone explain to me why werewolves are more badass than shifters?  During the fight against Tommy, he should have shifted into that alligator, or a T-Rex.  Can they do that?  That would be fuckin' awesome! 

So these are just a few of my ideas, feel free to use them HBO!

Beach Girls

These are some of the hot girls I have seen at the beach, who deserve to be my GOTW.

Actually, these pictures were found through Google before I left, but I figured you would enjoy them.  My real GOTW is obviously Lindsey.

Aishwarya Rai GOTW

I typed in "most beautiful woman in the world" and this is the result I got:  Aishwarya Rai.  She has very sexy eyes.  I think you will all enjoy looking at her this week.

Weak Sunday Television

Sunday television was not all that good this week.  Quick stuff about the three shows I watched.

The Glades
The show is going downhill with the whole Jim and Callie being awkward towards each other.  This episode was about a killer at a Pentecostal church.  They tried very hard to push one character on us and anyone with half a brain knew it was the other person.  The only positive was Jim completely mocking their religious beliefs.

Dear The Glades, please stop making Kiele Sanchez look less hot on the show...THANKS!

True Blood
All sorts of stupid shit in this one.  The witches are everywhere, Lafayette is possessed by Jesus' uncle and Marnie is possessed by that chick the vampires killed.  Tommy becomes a skinwalker and does the only cool thing he will ever do:  turn into Sam, fire Sookie, and have sex with Luna.  Tara and her girlfriend check out the town, then get attacked by Pam.  I hope Pam kills them both.  Terry and Arlene's house burns down, their kid can see some black chick.  Whatever, I wish they would die.  The werewolves are joining a new pack, yay!  Lame.

At least Eric was entertaining.  He bowed down to a super-dickish Bill and then Bill lies to whatshername and says that he needs the true death.  Then frees him to go have sex with Sookie.  The best part of the episode was Jason thinking he was going to turn into a werepanther.  I loved when he and Jessica had their bonding moment.  I cannot wait until they bang and Hoyt becomes angry.

Breaking Bad
I do not want to say this was a bad episode because it was not bad, it was just slow.  I am hoping that Hank snaps out of being an uber-deusche and becomes completely immersed with working on the case (instead of focusing on minerals).

An entire episode about the buying of a car-wash was not the way to follow up last week's beat down of Walt.  I actually felt bad for the car-wash guy.  Just listen to Saul and buy a nail salon.  I also enjoyed Jesse's cool party.  That seems like my kind of crowd.  And by my kind of crowd, I mean, that shit would freak me the fuck out if I walked into that party.

Girlfriend of the Week

I am feeling lazy this week, so your GOTW is Eliza Dushku, who is hot and that is the only reason I have.  Sorry...

ADWD GOTW

This week's GOTW is from a book, which almost always means I have finished reading said book and a review is coming soon.  That is right, I finished A Dance With Dragons and I decided to make Daenerys this week's girlfriend of the week. 

 

 

Throwback GOTW

I was feeling a wee bit nostalgic today and figured that there would be no better GOTW than 80s cartoon character Cheetara from Thundercats.  Does it make me some kind of weirdo that I thought she was hot when I was a small child?  Most likely, but you guys out there cannot lie and say you did not look at her a little differently as well...

All Sorts of Television Stuff

Where should I start?  Well just sit through the first one and then some of the better ones will come.  How does that work for you? 

True Blood
Witches, werepanthers, Bill's the King, blah blah blah.  Seriously, if this episode would have cut all that crap out and just focused on Eric not having a memory, it would have been a great 23 minutes.  Eric was cracking me up with the entire change in personality.

Also, when Tara pulled the gun on Pam, I really wanted Pam to use her super-speed and just take the gun from Tara and maybe rip her in half.  That would have been cool.  I really wish someone would kill Tara.  That would make my day.

The Glades
I enjoy this show most of the time, for a simple police procedural, it is pretty good.  The main character is pretty funny.  Unfortunately, this weeks episode was a little weak.  They used the partner is the killer trick during the pilot and it worked well.  This time though, I saw it coming a mile away and it was pretty lame.  Do better next week, or else!

Suits

I am digging this show.  It is not really the typical lawyer show.  It focuses mainly on corporate law, instead of criminal law like every other show.  Also, there are almost no court scenes, instead it is all about the research, which from what I have heard from a lawyer friend, is basically what most law ends up being.  Plus Meghan Markle is pretty hot.

Eureka
I cannot believe how much I missed this show.  And luckily, the season premier was pretty good.  Zane and Fargo accidentally launch a rocket into space with themselves stuck inside.  The best part about it though was Fargo ended up being the one to be cool and get them out of the mess.  Usually he gets himself into jams, but everyone else has to get him out.  It was nice to see him as the hero.

And it is about time that Jo and Zane got back together.  Not that I root for things like that because I am so uber-manly.  Speaking of manly, I loved when Andy was on the back of Carter's horse and yelled "I'm on a horse."  Great reference to the commercial, without being ridiculous.

Warehouse 13
Alright, I am glad they did not have Myka out for too long.  She is just too hot and she is a great foil for Pete.  Although, I did enjoy the new guy, I think his name is Steve.  I hope he sticks around, that way we can see more mult-case episodes with one of them going out with Claudia.

GOTW and Speeding Tickets

Yesterday I was driving home from Altoona and happened to be going a little over the speed limit.  When I look in the mirror there was a Cresson Township cop behind me with his lights on.  I had been pulled over once before and given a warning.  I knew that this time I was absolutely screwed.

Needless to say, I was right.  Luckily the cop gave me a ticket for just failing to obey traffic signs and he was actually pretty cool about it.  He seemed genuinely concerned that I might forget to pay the fine and have an arrest warrant put out for me.  Not like this has ever happened before.  Okay, that is a lie, it happened once before. 

Funny story, I got a ticket for doing 32 in a 25 in Crafton.  I had every intention of paying the fine.  In fact, I wrote the check, put it in an envelope, and thought I mailed it.  One Sunday, I am sitting at my place and there is a knock on the door.  Do you know how many knocks I had at my door while living there?  Not many.  I opened up and there were two constables standing there, they said they had a warrant for my arrest.

I argued up and down that I paid the fine, and then I looked at my desk and saw the envelope.  I forgot to mail it!  This is where things got shady.  The constables said that if I gave them cash, then it would be cool.  I told them I could give them a check, but they wanted me to go to an ATM and get cash.  I said that I could not do that because I did not get paid until the next day.  They said if they checked with the magistrates office and it was not there by 4:00 p.m. on Monday, they would come take me to jail.

I went down to the magistrates office the next day and paid the fine.  I wonder if the constables were just trying to take my cash from me?  I guess I will never know.

Back to this ticket, I really wish the cop would have looked like the girl above.  I would be much happier about getting a ticket if Denise Milani was standing there.  Also, if you are already giving me a ticket, why does it take so damn long to sit there and write the bloody thing.  And, why the hell do cops always ask:  "do you know why I pulled you over?"  Yeah, I am well aware of it.  In fact, do not ask me why I was speeding.  I like to drive fast, I am in a hurry, whatever.  If I lied and said that I had to get home to poop, would you let me go?  Probably not.  I am sure that cops already know as they walk up to the car whether they are giving you a ticket or not.

Okay, sorry about that rant.  Here are more pictures of Denise Milani.

True Blood Episode 402

There is really nothing to say about this episode, other than it pretty much sucked balls.  As I said last week, this season seems to have nothing going for it.  The only storyline worth anything was Jason, but that one became a letdown right away.

-Bill is the king because the AVL basically gave him the title after he gave them Queen Sophie.  Apparently he was working with the AVL since the days of British punk rock and Margaret Thatcher.

-The witch-gang wants to raise a human from the dead, but Eric comes to stop them.  They band together to fight him and he somehow loses his memory.  And his shirt. 

-Tara is reminded why she is lame.  She tries to visit Sookie, but gets blown off after a few minutes.  Then goes with her cousin to see some witch action and almost gets eaten by Eric.  Probably not the best way to impress Sookie...

-Luna, Sam's new girlfriend, once changed into a human.  I wonder if all shifters can do that, or did her stupid story have some weight to it.

-Hoyt and Jessica are like a lame, old married couple.  She goes and gets dirty with that weird dude from Fangtasia.  Still not at all interesting.  And if she is going to the club, she needs to wear less clothing.

-Jason is being held by Crystal and Felton.  She is high and he wants Jason to impregnate her.  He is impotent.  However, they must first make him a werepanther.  Yep, this will be dumb.

Happy Fourth of July!

Today is our great nation's birthday.  This is a pretty damn good place to live, even if we sometimes take it for granted.  Just think, you could be stuck in Albania.  While the rest of you are out celebrating, I will be at work.  Pretty much the worst part of my job.  I almost always have to work on the cool holidays that involve cooking out and drinking.  I figure that looking at pictures of girls showing their patriotism is better than being bitter all day.  Enjoy the day off folks!

International GOTW

This week's GOTW is Nazanin Boniadi, who I noticed in the show Suits.  She has been in a few other things, but whatever, that is not important.  She is of Iranian descent, which makes a first for this site.  Woo-hoo to being diverse.

Weird GOTW

Tomorrow we are going to the Pirates/Red Sox game.  In my weird twisted way, I wanted to honor this by making Daisuke Matsuzaka's wife as my GOTW.  For some reason I thought she was really hot and had huge boobs.  I was wrong, she is a journalist in Japan and she is attractive, but not what I was thinking.  Instead, I found a picture of Yoko Matsugane.  I have no clue what she does and I am too lazy to check into it.  Instead I will put a bunch of pictures up of her.  Enjoy!