How to Fix True Blood

Obviously you know what this post is about.  This season has been pretty terrible.  What could they do to fix the show for next season?  Here are my ideas:

-Obviously they are not going to kill Sookie.  It would be great, but it will not happen.  Instead though, they need to focus a good bit less on the love triangle and maybe never mention the whole faerie thing ever again.

-Too many useless characters.  First, get rid of Tara.  She is absolutely unnecessary.  Her views go completely against Sookie's beliefs.  Might as well kill her off this season.  If you want someone who Sookie can talk to about her problems, use Jason.  He is more interesting anyway, since he has positive and negative vampire experiences.

-Speaking of Jason, they need to keep his character more consistent.  Keep him as a cop, I actually like that idea.  I am glad they eliminated the whole were-panther story (I am sure it will pop back up though).  In fact, I like the idea of his role being more involved with the vampire community as a cop, maybe covering up things for Bill (with help from Jessica).

-Jessica naked.

-The entire story needs to be vampire related.  The interesting thing about the first season was the way we saw how society reacted to vampires.  Those are also some of the good parts of this season.  Focus more on that and less on idiotic villains.  No witches, no demigods, no werewolves, no werebadgers, or anything else.  They can exist in this world, but they are not the big story.

-Also, we need to know more about vampire politics.  Who are the Authority?  How and why did they divide the U.S. into a kingdom per state?  How come some of the oldest vampires (Godric, and to a lesser extent Eric) are just sheriffs of small areas.  Could they just kill the king or queen and take it over? 

-Keep Sam's story just the way it is.  Seriously one of the few good things about the show.  Except, maybe have him work at the bar a little more often.  Also, what happened to him being in love with Sookie?  I realize he grew out of that, but he and her have no interaction whatsoever. 

-Can someone explain to me why werewolves are more badass than shifters?  During the fight against Tommy, he should have shifted into that alligator, or a T-Rex.  Can they do that?  That would be fuckin' awesome! 

So these are just a few of my ideas, feel free to use them HBO!

Television Stuff

True Blood
To say this season has been stupid would be insulting to stupid things.   The only positive to this stupid witch war against vampires was Sookie getting shot.  Please just die already.  Also, if they kill Bill (hehe), can Pam please kill Tara?  That is all I ask.  I could put up with a season of just Eric being awesome, Jason banging chicks, and Jessica just getting naked.

Eureka
Been a cool season so far, although I really wish they would have taken the Allison being mind-controlled story a little further.   I am also hoping they show the team actually on Titan (I wonder if that story-line is being written because certain characters may have other projects coming up?).

I have loved the Zane/Lupo story and them falling back in love, same with Henry and his wife.  Honestly though, Zane is probably my favorite character on the show (minus Jack).  Anyone have a prediction who will be the team that goes to Titan?   And what they will find there?

-Zane, Lupo, Fargo, Holly, Grace, and Henry.  It would make sense to send couples, right?  Probably not.  Also, since they are using Fargo's FTL device, the trip should be fairly quick.

-They will find something that will help change the earth.  Since next season will be the last, I could see them going that route.

Breaking Bad
HOLY SHIT!  What an intense episode, again!  I thought that Jesse was going to die at least 23 times.  The first part of the ride out to the desert, I kept thinking that Mike was just messing with him.  Especially when they kept going to different spots, I figured Mike was trying to get Jesse to drop his guard, then would kill him at the last spot. 

Instead, he and Gus set it up so some guys attempt to rob Mike.  Jesse sees them and takes the car and almost runs over one of them.  He then swings back around to pick Mike up.  Gus (and not Walter) knew that Jesse wanted to live, he just needed to feel like the hero.  Maye if Walt would have spoken to Jesse about the murder, he could have mentored him.  Walt is behaving like a fool.

Speaking of which, Walt made a huge mistake.  While at dinner with Hank and Marie, Hank says that he wonders what a guy like Gale could have accomplished had he applied himself to something else.  He believes that Gale must have been a genius.  Walt, who is on his way to a nice drunk, starts belittling Gale, saying that he must have copied his work from a real genius, someone who must have been the real Heisenberg.  Hank does not seem amused and is probably going to start asking more questions.

Plus, Hank seems to have been reinvigorated by the case and stopped looking at his minerals.  Hell, he even talked to Marie in a civil manner.

And a preview of Boardwalk Empire

Season 2 Tease

Weak Sunday Television

Sunday television was not all that good this week.  Quick stuff about the three shows I watched.

The Glades
The show is going downhill with the whole Jim and Callie being awkward towards each other.  This episode was about a killer at a Pentecostal church.  They tried very hard to push one character on us and anyone with half a brain knew it was the other person.  The only positive was Jim completely mocking their religious beliefs.

Dear The Glades, please stop making Kiele Sanchez look less hot on the show...THANKS!

True Blood
All sorts of stupid shit in this one.  The witches are everywhere, Lafayette is possessed by Jesus' uncle and Marnie is possessed by that chick the vampires killed.  Tommy becomes a skinwalker and does the only cool thing he will ever do:  turn into Sam, fire Sookie, and have sex with Luna.  Tara and her girlfriend check out the town, then get attacked by Pam.  I hope Pam kills them both.  Terry and Arlene's house burns down, their kid can see some black chick.  Whatever, I wish they would die.  The werewolves are joining a new pack, yay!  Lame.

At least Eric was entertaining.  He bowed down to a super-dickish Bill and then Bill lies to whatshername and says that he needs the true death.  Then frees him to go have sex with Sookie.  The best part of the episode was Jason thinking he was going to turn into a werepanther.  I loved when he and Jessica had their bonding moment.  I cannot wait until they bang and Hoyt becomes angry.

Breaking Bad
I do not want to say this was a bad episode because it was not bad, it was just slow.  I am hoping that Hank snaps out of being an uber-deusche and becomes completely immersed with working on the case (instead of focusing on minerals).

An entire episode about the buying of a car-wash was not the way to follow up last week's beat down of Walt.  I actually felt bad for the car-wash guy.  Just listen to Saul and buy a nail salon.  I also enjoyed Jesse's cool party.  That seems like my kind of crowd.  And by my kind of crowd, I mean, that shit would freak me the fuck out if I walked into that party.

All Sorts of Television Stuff

Where should I start?  Well just sit through the first one and then some of the better ones will come.  How does that work for you? 

True Blood
Witches, werepanthers, Bill's the King, blah blah blah.  Seriously, if this episode would have cut all that crap out and just focused on Eric not having a memory, it would have been a great 23 minutes.  Eric was cracking me up with the entire change in personality.

Also, when Tara pulled the gun on Pam, I really wanted Pam to use her super-speed and just take the gun from Tara and maybe rip her in half.  That would have been cool.  I really wish someone would kill Tara.  That would make my day.

The Glades
I enjoy this show most of the time, for a simple police procedural, it is pretty good.  The main character is pretty funny.  Unfortunately, this weeks episode was a little weak.  They used the partner is the killer trick during the pilot and it worked well.  This time though, I saw it coming a mile away and it was pretty lame.  Do better next week, or else!

Suits

I am digging this show.  It is not really the typical lawyer show.  It focuses mainly on corporate law, instead of criminal law like every other show.  Also, there are almost no court scenes, instead it is all about the research, which from what I have heard from a lawyer friend, is basically what most law ends up being.  Plus Meghan Markle is pretty hot.

Eureka
I cannot believe how much I missed this show.  And luckily, the season premier was pretty good.  Zane and Fargo accidentally launch a rocket into space with themselves stuck inside.  The best part about it though was Fargo ended up being the one to be cool and get them out of the mess.  Usually he gets himself into jams, but everyone else has to get him out.  It was nice to see him as the hero.

And it is about time that Jo and Zane got back together.  Not that I root for things like that because I am so uber-manly.  Speaking of manly, I loved when Andy was on the back of Carter's horse and yelled "I'm on a horse."  Great reference to the commercial, without being ridiculous.

Warehouse 13
Alright, I am glad they did not have Myka out for too long.  She is just too hot and she is a great foil for Pete.  Although, I did enjoy the new guy, I think his name is Steve.  I hope he sticks around, that way we can see more mult-case episodes with one of them going out with Claudia.

True Blood Episode 402

There is really nothing to say about this episode, other than it pretty much sucked balls.  As I said last week, this season seems to have nothing going for it.  The only storyline worth anything was Jason, but that one became a letdown right away.

-Bill is the king because the AVL basically gave him the title after he gave them Queen Sophie.  Apparently he was working with the AVL since the days of British punk rock and Margaret Thatcher.

-The witch-gang wants to raise a human from the dead, but Eric comes to stop them.  They band together to fight him and he somehow loses his memory.  And his shirt. 

-Tara is reminded why she is lame.  She tries to visit Sookie, but gets blown off after a few minutes.  Then goes with her cousin to see some witch action and almost gets eaten by Eric.  Probably not the best way to impress Sookie...

-Luna, Sam's new girlfriend, once changed into a human.  I wonder if all shifters can do that, or did her stupid story have some weight to it.

-Hoyt and Jessica are like a lame, old married couple.  She goes and gets dirty with that weird dude from Fangtasia.  Still not at all interesting.  And if she is going to the club, she needs to wear less clothing.

-Jason is being held by Crystal and Felton.  She is high and he wants Jason to impregnate her.  He is impotent.  However, they must first make him a werepanther.  Yep, this will be dumb.

The Return of True Blood

Tonight was the premiere of True Blood, but before I get into that, I want to point out how I am an idiot.  Last week I wrote about the season finale of Treme.  Well it was not really the finale...I am shocked that no one pointed that out to me (probably because only two people I know watch it).  Anyways...

The new season of True Blood started out with Sookie in the land of fairy.  Turns out her grandfather was there for the last twenty years.  Also, the fairies are not good guys.  They are harvesting humans and all that pretty stuff was just an illusion.  Everyone should know that if they ever read Sandman.  Yeah, the story was pretty lame, as were the special effects. 

Sookie then comes back to our world, her grandpa dies and she heads home only to find workers there remodeling.  Turns out she has been gone for more than a year and everyone thought she was dead.  Jason sold her home.  Oops.  Here are the things that have happened:

-Jason is a cop now and he seems to be good at it.  Andy is a V addict.  Jason ends up being locked in a deep freezer by someone in that meth town.  Turns out Crystal left.

-Sam has anger problems.  His brother is a Jesus freak and lives with Hoyt's mom.  Sam gets drunk with some shape-shifters now and probably has orgies.  Weird.

-Bill is now the King of Louisianna.  Are they ever going to explain how that shit works?  If he is the king, why doesn't Eric just kill him and take over?  Does being the king give you super powers?

-Eric is the one who bought Sookie's house and he gives it back to her and then says he owns her.  It was pretty obvious that he was the one who bought it, but I have no clue where this thing is going.

-The fight between Jessica and Hoyt was so lame.  Probably the worst acting I have seen on this show and that is saying something.  At least Pam was funny when they were at Fangtasia.

-So, Tara is a lesbian named Toni now?  She and her girlfriend are cage-fighters?  This was probably the first time there was a girl-on-girl scene on TV that I had absolutely no interest in.

-Lafayette and Jesus...um whatever, this storyline already sucks a major cock.

-Am I forgetting anything?  Probably not, the show was pretty dumb.  I will keep watching though.  At least there will be plenty of boobs.

2010 In Review

Instead of recapping the entire year, which is never any kind of fun, I will just go over some of the highlights of 2010.  It was a pretty damn good year.

-I finally bought a laptop, which has pretty much been the best investment ever.  Sitting on the couch while writing these posts is much better than sitting at a desk.  Speaking of posts, 2010 was my busiest year with over 300 posts.  That is kind of exciting (or lame depending on your POV).

-I went to a bunch of sporting events this year.  A few in Pittsburgh, a couple in Altoona, and one over at State College.  I also got to enjoy tailgating for the Blue/White game and the Temple game.  I even made a trip to Washington D.C. to see the Nationals and Pirates play.  Speaking of awesome sporting events, I experienced two firsts:  my first Pens game and my first regular season Steelers game.  I also got to see Stephen Strasburg make his minor league debut against the Curve.

-This was also a very sad year since two of my favorite TV shows ended:  Lost and 24.  I actually did a couple of special things to commemorate such great shows (even though 24 constantly pissed me off with some of its stupid story lines).  My Best of 24 was pretty cool (at least I thought so), yet none of you jerks commented on it.  Also, I was so impressed with my Lost GOTW and the amount of work I put into it, and again, no one really noticed.  I think it caused me to die a little inside that no one said how awesome it was...

I will post it again for your enjoyment, only in a slightly smaller version.  Do not strain your eyes too much trying to enjoy all the hotties.

-There were plenty of great TV shows in 2010.  In fact, this year was a much better television than movie year.  Mad Men, Always Sunny, Justified, Boardwalk Empire, Treme, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, Archer, The Walking Dead, and The League.  Also there were plenty of enjoyable shows like Warehouse 13, Eureka, White Collar, Human Target, and Supernatural.  I am sure I am forgetting some.

-Speaking of movies, what all did I see this year?  Iron Man 2, Inception, Kick-Ass, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Social Network, The Disappearance of Alice Creed, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Sherlock Holmes, The Chronicles of Narnia:  Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Daybreakers. I really feel like I went to the movies more than this, but I guess I did not.  I think there were a few movies I saw that were just crappy and I did not care about.

-I will not list all the books I read over 2010.  It was not nearly as many as years past, I think my total was only thirteen.  Granted, five of those books were around 1000 pages each, so it was probably about the same amount of reading as previous years.

-The biggest thing to happen in 2010 though was the changes in my life.  I met Lindsey and we moved in together up here in New Germany.  She makes me incredibly happy and I feel like a better person because of her.  If she is reading up to this point, I hope she knows how much I love her.  Sorry to the rest of you for having to read a little personal stuff.

-Now on to the best of list...

Best Movie:  This is a tough one, it comes down to Kick-Ass and Inception.  Many people will say The Social Network was the best movie, and I definitely thought it was good, but I look at it from the stand point of which movie will I watch more than once?  Which of those movies will I stop when I see they are on HBO and watch them from wherever they are in the film.  I would have to say that award goes to Kick-Ass.

Best TV Show:  All those great shows listed above, yet it comes down to two:  Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy.  I could not wait every week to watch these two shows.  And I usually watched the episodes again during their reshowing.  SOA was great, but did not compare to last season and at times I felt like the Tara storyline was dragging on.  MM does not have the action, but it just holds you in it's thrall each week.  It is hard to explain to people why it is such a good show.  Anyways, that was the best show in my opinion.

Best Book:  Only three of the books I read this year actually came out in 2010.  I think the best one of that small group was Are We Winning?  It was a great book and I pretty much recommend it to any baseball fan.

Best Comic Book:  I will not lie, I have not read many comics this year.  In fact, I stopped getting individual issues and decided just to get trades.  Of everything I read, I would say that The Walking Dead is still the best on-going series I read.  Maybe 2011 will be a better year.

Anyways, that is my thoughts on 2010.  Who knows what 2011 will hold for me...

Random Hunk: Ryan Kwanten of True Blood

Many people come to this blog for pictures of their favorite hunks. I realized I can add a new section in here dedicated to that 'craving'.

I am a fan of TV series and so to kick things off, may I present this True Blood hunk, Ryan Kwanten. Playing as Jason Stackhouse in True Blood, the Australian heartthrob surely melts every girl's heart especially that he get to show his naked fit body frequently in the series.

Here are some of True Blood's Ryan Kwanten's pictures I found over the internet:

Girlfriend of the Week

As most of you have noticed, I am not a huge fan of Tara on True Blood.  I kept hoping that she would stab herself with those scissors at the end of the finale.  Instead, she just cuts off her hair.  Hopefully on her way out of town a dragon will eat her.

Unfortunately, when you actually look at Rutina Wesley, you start to see that she is attractive.  So, in case she reads this blog, I thought I should let her know that I hate her character, not her.

Super TV Week

What a kick-ass week of television.  Without delay, here we go.

Sons of Anarchy

The season premiere kicked off with a bang.  Jax is depressed about Abel being kidnapped and it is starting to wear on the club.  At Half-Sack's viewing, Clay tells him to man up.  Either accept that Abel is dead and seek vengeance or believe he is alive and tear the world apart looking for him.  A rival club thinks that SAMCRO is weak and decides to start shooting at them during the the viewing (was it the Mayans?).  Jax looks around and sees people shot and bleeding, he sees officer Hale run down and killed.  He snaps.  He runs after one of the members who the cops apprehend.  He tosses them out of the way and smashes the guys head off the ground, repeatedly.

I am guessing the season will focus on the town's reaction to the shooting.  I bet they will start to turn on SAMCRO.  Also, is Jax going to snap and go on a face smashing spree?  That would be awesome. 

True Blood
The season finale was pretty sweet.  Sookie saves Eric, who sees Godric and decides to save Russell.  They chain a very charred Russell to a stripper pole and everyone goes to sleep.  Russell tries to bargain with Sookie.  It does not work and she ends up dumping Talbot's remains down the garbage disposal.

Eric decides to dump Russell into a hole and cover him with concrete.  They figure that should hold him for about a hundred years (along with the silver chains).  Bill then pushes Eric into the hole as well.  Fortunately, Pam avoids the assassin that is sent after him and rescues Eric.

Bill tries to explain himself to Sookie, but then Eric shows up.  He tells her that Bill allowed her to be attacked and almost beaten to death in order to give her his blood.  He was supposed to give her to the queen.  Bill does not deny this and Sookie kicks them both out.

The show ends with Tara leaving (best part of the episode), Sam maybe shooting his brother, Sookie going to Fairyland (I wonder if that is close to Fairywood?), and Bill squaring off with the queen.  Lafayette's boyfriend is a witch.  Jason's girlfriend gets taken by her brother, who is addicted to V.  Jason breaks up the drug bust and I guess he is in charge of the little meth town...

Mad Men
Don may have a drinking problem.  At least he writes about it.  He also starts swimming.  Does he realize how he is destroying his body?  I liked how he watches everyone taking a drink and when he finally takes one he zones everything out...

-Poor Peggy, she can never do anything right when it comes to Joan.  At least she got rid of Joey.  He was irritating.

From bathtub handjobs to taxicab blowjobs...classy

-Don takes out Bethany (was that her name) and she gives him a blowjob in the car.  She really likes him and I almost feel bad for her.  As she gets out of the car, she says to him that this is to be continued.  Don writes later that she probably practiced that line all day.

-Don then overhears Faye breaking up with a boyfriend and asks her out to dinner.  They go out and on the way home, they kiss in the car.  She asks where Don lives, but he says that he is having her dropped at home because that is all the further he can go at the moment.  Very mature for Don.

-The best thing was watching Betty fall apart when she saw Don on his date.  Also, the way Henry told her to shut up was great.  She is such a terrible human being.

-Speaking of Henry;  he tries to be all badass by running his car into a bunch of boxes labeled Draper.  He then calls Don at work and says that he is planning on buying a boat and needs the garage space and that Don should come get the boxes or he will put them in storage and just deduct it from the rent.  Don says he will stop over.

Don comes over Saturday, and the boxes are stacked on the curb.  You know that Henry felt pretty good about it, but as always Don was a few steps ahead.  He takes the boxes and tosses them in a dumpster.  I bet those boxes were empty, Don just left them in the garage to see how long Henry would tolerate them.

-Don then decides to go against everyone's wishes and he shows up for Gene's birthday party.  Way to go Don, keep sticking it to Henry and Betty.

Louie
The season finale was pretty damn impressive.  I know that many of you do not watch this show, but you really should.  It is so depressingly funny.  And yet at the end of the day, it just comes off as real.  Louie's babysitter forces him to go out because she thinks he is kind of pathetic.  He tries to go out with some black comedians, but they are much cooler than him.  He then leaves and stops at one of the comedy clubs where he does a quick set.  He comes to the realization that he is good at two things:  comedy and raising his kids.  He leaves the club and goes home.  His girls wake up and he takes them for breakfast.  It was actually pretty cool.  As always though, his stand-up is just hilarious.  Just watch the show.

This Week's TV Stuff

Eureka
I was so excited for this episode.  Stark returns?  Yes, that is the greatest moment ever.  And then after a few minutes, we realize that Stark is just Carter's hallucination.  It was great while it lasted though.  I really missed Stark's constant jokes about Carter being stupid.

Some other stuff happened as well.  Zoe is dating Zane.  Jo thought she was confronting her hallucination of Zane, but instead it was the real Zane.  Fargo grew a set of balls and stood up to the General.  Oh and whatever the major crisis was solved. 

When will Don bang Faye?

Mad Men
This was an awesome episode.  Don and the team head to the CLEO awards, where Don wins an award for his Glo-Coat commercial.  When they find out that the Life people are stuck in Philadelphia, they decide to start pregaming for the award show.  Naturally, the gang drinks heavily at the ceremony (so does Duck Phillips, who makes a fool of himself).  They get a message that the Life people have shown up and want to do the pitch meeting now.  Don is a little drunk and wants to have the meeting.

At the beginning of the episode, Don and Peggy give Roger's wife's cousin an interview, which is pretty funny.  His portfolio is a joke.  Most of the stuff is other people's work that he admires, and all his ideas revolve around the same idea.  During the Life meeting, drunk Don starts rattling off slogans and steals one of the kid's lame ideas.  Life loves it.  Don later is forced to hire him.  It was great watching Peggy stand up to him.

After the meeting, they go back out and continue drinking.  Don gets blasted.  He strikes out with Faye, takes some other girl home.  Wakes up in bed with some different girl.  He also finds out that it is no longer Saturday, but instead Sunday.  Apparently, after girl one, he went out some more and kept partying.  Who hasn't had a drinking binge like that?

Roger remembers how he met Don Draper.  Apparently, Roger came in to buy Joan a fur coat.  He saw Don's ad on the wall and gave him his card.  Don thought that was a job opportunity.  He came to the office and Roger wanted nothing to do with him.  Don offered to take him out for drinks (Roger scoffs at the idea at drinking at 10 a.m., who is this Roger?).  Roger gets pretty bombed before noon.  The next day Don shows up at the office.  Roger asks why he is back.  Don says that Roger hired him.  Classic Don manipulating his way into a job.

True Blood
I almost wish that Sam could have been out with Don and Roger.  He would have been the angry drunk to complete their group.  Roger was morose, Don was the horndog...Sam could have been the pissed off dude.  It was actually kind of sad the way he treated Tommy and then how Tommy reacted.  The whole apologizing and being upset thing.  Then he breaks into Sam's safe.  Great job Tommy.

Eric offers Sookie to Russell, with the promise of being a daywalker.  I really hope Blade shows up to kick Russell's ass.  Turns out though that Eric has a plan.  They drink Sookie's blood and take a stroll outside.  Eric fails to mention that they needed to drink all of her blood.  They are only immune to the sun for a few minutes.  Eric handcuffs Russell with silver cuffs and plans to die alongside him.  I am guessing that Eric will survive though.  I mean he is probably the most popular character on the show.

And finally Jason was hilarious as usual when being stupid.  "So you are like a werewolf, but a panther?"  Crystal:  "Yes, a werepanther."  Although, his discovery that his rival high school QB is using V was pretty cool.  Interesting idea, since it cannot be tested for, how would something like that change professional sports?  Maybe that is Pujols secret...

My brother pointed out that the weird new waitress was a waitress at Monk's on Seinfeld.  Also, Maryann from last season was one of George's many ex-girlfriends.  Fun facts.

True Blood Fans

Hahahahaha, this cracked me up.

This Week's Shitty Television Women Saga

 Mad Men
 This was an excellent episode.  Before I get into the title of this post, let me talk about the other stuff in the episode.  There is nothing better than seeing Don Draper at work.  At first I was worried that Don was going to be in trouble with this new guy, but then he comes up with this brilliant plan to destroy him.  It was so impressive.  Another great thing was watching Roger go at it with Pete.  Roger was full of great lines.

That now brings us to Betty Draper.  Or as I like to call her:  World's Worst Mother.  First, Sally cuts off her hair, which Betty smacks her for.  Then, Sally starts playing with herself, which Betty thinks she is abnormal.  She wants to send her daughter to a psychiatrist (actually Henry does, since Betty does not think for herself), and she calls Don to inform him.  She sounds like such a nutcase. 

I also love how the doctor realized that Betty is crazy.  She suggests that Betty see her on occasion, in order to go over Sally's progress.  Betty is more childish than Sally.  I love how she thinks all of Sally's behavior can be attributed to Don's sex life.

True Blood
Am I the only one who wants Tara to die already?  Just get over all this crap already.  Remember how she was funny in the first episodes where she would get angry about any kind of racial remarks?   Well she does the same thing about vampires.

She is just so boring.  Her story sucks.  The way she gets all upset and talks fast like a spaz, ugh.  And now Jason has told her the truth about Eggs.  Hopefully Russell will fly in and pull her head off.  That is all I ever hope for.

We found out that Crystal is a werepanther.  I am confused, why was Calvin so anti-shifter?  I thought werewolves and werecats were just shifters who can only shift into that one animal.  Or did I imagine that from one of the seasons?  I guess I imagined that...

 Oh and we finally found out what Sookie is:  a fairy.  Big freakin' deal.  I pretty much said that last week (or did you people not get my reference?  Probably not).

Crystal Meth and Football

Crystal Meth
When you picture a meth dealer, what do you see in your mind?  I see these kind of people:

T.C. from the Preacher comics.  Fish rape is always funny.

Calvin Norris from True Blood

But does anyone ever picture this?  A figure skating champion?  Seriously, does she look like the type of person that is running a meth lab?  Trying to destroy people's lives?  Not to me.  Sadly though, Nicole Bobek was arrested and charged with conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine. 

It is good to see that kids who are yanked out of school in order to fulfill a dream of figure skating, could fall down a dark path.  She grew up without friends and then went a bit broke, so she decided to turn to dealing meth as a way to support herself.  Great call. 

Penn State Quarterback Issue
Apparently the QB situation at PSU is not the greatest.  From what I am hearing (mainly from radio shows and the local papers), neither Kevin Newsome or Matt McGloin look all that spectacular.

Fortunately, the one who has looked good so far is true freshman Robert Bolden.  He is big, strong, and quite mobile.  According to BleacherReport, he would probably be the most appropriate to take over the HD Spread Offense.

The Nittany Lions are not going undefeated this year, heck they could possibly lose as many as five games this year (which would really suck).  Why not start Bolden?  Give him the shot.  Look at what other freshman QBs have done.  Yes, he will have his moments of failure, but those moments will be better than moments of failure during huge games in the future.  That is what always seems to happen with PSU, the quarterback gets little chances and then is thrown into a situation they are not ready for...

Christ
"Live a life worth imitating by imitating Christ."
That is the newest sign the crazy church has up on the way to work.  It made me laugh for a solid five minutes because all I could picture was a bunch of 30-somethings being nailed to a cross.  Yeah, that would be a life worth imitating.

Always look on the bright side of life...

Or even better, maybe I will start going around to funerals and try to raise the dead guy.  When the mourning ask what the hell I am doing, I will just blame Christ.  "Hey man, he could raise the dead, right?  I am just imitating my hero JC."

Never mind, the Lutheran's already beat me to it.

Television That Me Watched Week Past

Mad Men

Watching a person's downward spiral is always fun, but in this case seeing Draper like this is quite sad.  Yeah, the Allison thing is kind of creepy, but that is not what bothered me.  When he had troubles remembering the idea Peggy wanted to use, that seemed like a low point.  He just seemed so out of it.  Through all of his exploits, the one thing that never really suffers is his work...uh oh.

Aside from that though, there were so many great moments in this week's show:
-Pete was awesome.  Especially when he calmly shrugs when his father-in-law calls him a son of a bitch.
-Peggy and the lesbian.  "He doesn't own your vagina."  "No, but he rents it."   I could totally see Peggy as a lesbian, but I think she could do a little bit better.  She bagged Pete and he bitches and moans like a woman...
-Was that Nic Cage dressed as a bear again?
-Don trying to type a letter to Allison while slightly inebriated.  I bet that would be the precursor to the drunken text message.

True Blood
Blah blah blah.  A bunch of idiotic stuff happened.  And then all of a sudden it went from ugh, to OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKIN' AWESOME! 

Eric explains to Nan and the Authority why Russell is evil and how he needs to be stopped.  They basically do not believe him and issue an order that Eric has permission to rid them of Russell, but he will get no help from them.

Bill goes to the land of naked dancing.  I wonder if that lady is Queen Titania?  Or something similar?  How close am I on this one?  If Puck shows up, I will be happy.

The whole Jason/Sam/Crystal/Meth Dealer/Tommy/Tara/Franklin story is way too convoluted.  I actually zoned out when Tara was taken by Franklin.  The next thing I know Jason shows up and kills Franklin.  Thanks Jason for ruining my chance of world without Tara.

Like I said, I was starting to get bored with the episode and then it decided to blow my mind.  Nan is going down on some chick, when she hears a news report about the vampire rights amendment.  The news anchor's chest explodes because Russell jams his arm through him.  On live television.  He then sits down and gives a nice rant about how vampires are not equal to humans.  All while having a bloody arm and hold a man's spine.


How will people handle seeing a vampire like that?  Angry and virtually unstoppable.  Sadly, this is not something they will explore for very long.  I am sure that Eric will kill him at some point and the Vampire League will convince everyone that vampires are safe.

Eureka
My cousin asked me if I was enjoying this season.  Yes, this season is exploring something that I wish they had done two seasons ago.  Back then we saw an alternate time-line where Carter and Allison were married.  Carter has to go back in time to stop Henry from destroying the universe, but when he does, things change.  He and Henry remember the whole alternate time-line.  I do not think the writers were ready for that kind of story and decided to mindwipe Henry and Jack...

This time we get to see the repercussions of being in a different time-line.  In this last episode, Henry tells his wife everything and he later explains that he wants to get to know her.  I only wish that Nathan Stark would still be alive in this universe...

This Week in Television

Mad Men
This was the best thing I watched all week, hands down.  Don's trip to California to see Anna was quite interesting.  We learn that she has some kind of bone cancer and will die soon, unfortunately she does not know this because her sister did not tell her.  What the hell kind of person does that?

It was great seeing Don so vulnerable around her.  And I also loved the way they had her sitting there drinking and smoking on the couch, in the familiar "Don Draper Pose".  As much as the middle of the show was going into extreme downer mode, Don makes a quick turnaround into the always fun extremely-drunk funtime.

He and Lane decide to celebrate New Years together.  They get drunk.  Obviously.  These are some of the highlights:

-Seeing Godzilla at the theater (and drinking), Don comments that everyone is getting handjobs.  Lane asks what percentage and some lady shushes them.  Lane then starts making Japanese noises at the lady.  This is the beginning of Lane's drunken insanity.

-At some fancy restaurant, Lane stands up and puts his T-Bone steak in front of his crotch and exclaims that he has a giant Texas belt buckle.  Everyone cheers.

-Lane provokes a comedian who keeps insinuating that Don and Lane are gay by yelling they are not homosexuals (British folks are so funny when they say homosexuals), but that they are divorced.  He is becoming a new favorite character...

-Lane shocks the hell out of me by sleeping with the hooker Don arranged for him.  The next morning, he comes out of the room and looks so dignified, whereas Don looks like a train-wreck.  Oh and even better, Lane knew she was a prostitute.  I really thought he would freak out about the whole situation.

True Blood
Eric is awesome.  That is all that needs to be said.  He keeps leading Talbot on and eventually they start having some crazy homo-vampire sex.  In the middle of it though, Eric says that Russell took his family and now he will take Russell's.  He then kills Talbot, which causes Russell to stop beating the crap out of Bill.

How the hell do the meth dealers know that Sam is a shifter?  Are they wolves?  Obviously Sam and Tommy could sense something.  Oh Jason...

Sookie's cousin was very hot tonight in that lingerie.  I only wish I could find a picture...this one will have to suffice.  What did she tell Eric about Sookie?  What is Sookie?  I bet she is a descendant of Gandalf the White (not the Gray)...

Eureka/Warehouse 13
This week was the big crossover event.  Sadly, this was not what I expected.  Fargo and Claudia?  It was amusing I suppose, but it was definitely not what I expected.  Why not Claudia and Zoe?  Myka and Jack?  Jo and Pete...all characters that could cross and it could be entertaining.  Also, the blossoming romance between Fargo and Claudia is a bit weird since I got the sense that Claudia was a teenager...

This Past Week in Television

True Blood
I thought my dream was about to come true:  maybe a few episodes without Sookie.  If she would have stayed in a coma for like three episodes, that would have been great.  But, if she wants to go back to orgy-land, then by all means, I could put up with her dumb questions and idiotic accent.  Sorry, sometimes I feel like she is the worst part of the show.

Do you think Tara is shitting her pants now that she realizes that Franklin is most likely still alive (or whatever vampire term is appropriate)?  Also, I loved the whole werewolf fight.  We figured at some point Alcide and Cooter would turn into wolves and duke it out.  Cooter started to change and then BAM.  Alcide just shoots him in the head.  Very wise.

Also, did anyone else think the doctor was a bit of a moron?
Doctor:  She has lost a lot of blood.
Tara:  How much did she lose?
Doctor:  A lot.

Wow, brilliant southern medicine.

Don chose the wrong secretary...

Mad Men
Did anyone else think that things were going to turn ugly when Don started kissing his secretary, Allison?  I mean, rape bad.  When she pulled away, I thought Don was going to go down a path that we would never be able accept.  Fortunately, she relented and they had sex on the couch.  Could Don Draper be at a lower point in his life right now?  Sleeping with your secretary is a bad idea, good thing it is the 1960s and there is no such thing as sexual harassment.

I kept expecting Roger to punch Lee Garner Jr.  Or for Roger to have Sal walk in and make everything extremely awkward.  As usual, Roger gets the great line:  "we need to go from convalescent home to roman orgy." 

I wish someone would have told Peggy's boyfriend that bringing a girl cookies is a nice thing, but it does not guarantee sex.  Trust me, I have brought girls cookies before.  If you want to ensure sex, lace the cookies with ether.

Louie
Do you watch this show?  You should.  Let me explain what the show is like.  You know how Aqua Teen Hunger Force is basically short skits for stoners?  Well, Louie is basically two funny short segments, but instead of aimed at stoners it is aimed at people who are depressed.

In last week's episode he deals with a heckler.  He says some of the nastiest things possible to this girl and then afterwords, she wants to know why he treated her that way.  He goes on some more and then causes her to storm away.  His comedian friends point out that he could have slept with her, but he went too far.  His reponse:  "shit."  Depressingly funny.  Anyways, here is a video from the second episode.  That is another great thing about the show, plenty of stand-up fun.

This Week in TV

Mad Men
The season premiere started off a few months where we left last season.  SCDP (Sterling Cooper Draper Price) now has an office (they joke about the second floor to clients) and apparently Don has had some huge success with a new television ad.  He is kind of falling apart, he blows up at some clients.  He gives a crappy interview to an ad magazine and they lose another client.

His personal life is also looking pretty bad since he is sleeping with a hooker and wants her to smack him.  Roger sets him up on a date, which goes pretty well and the girl is definitely hot.  Roger had a great line about if the date goes well, maybe Don can stuff her Thanksgiving turkey.  Actually, Roger was hilarious all episode.  Don's interview was with a one-legged reporter, which Roger comments that they could not even send a whole reporter.

That moves us to Betty.  Ugh.  She is still a terrible mother.  At Thanksgiving dinner, she acts like a bitch because Sally is doing what small children normally do:  make a scene and act like monsters.  Granted, she is still smokin' hot and I cannot believe her new husband did not just jump her in bed.

Anyways, Sundays are a great night for TV, especially if you leave work and come home to a full DVR.

True Blood
There were so many great moments during this episode.  My favorite had to be Eric attacking the Queen and threatening to rip her head off.  In fact, Eric was awesome the entire episode.  I am excited to see how he deals with Russell.

It became pretty apparent that Sam's brother was being used in a dog fighting ring, which is an interesting story.  I guess.  Why do I get the sense that Sam will get there and feel the only choice he has is to go into the ring.  I think this will bring Sam and Tommy closer together though, which is good.

Tara smashing Franklin's head with a mace was pretty damn awesome.  I bet that turns him on.  He is such a crazy bastard, I love him and I really hope they do not get rid of him.  Seriously, a show about him traveling the country and being psychotic would be great.

Jason's storyline is pretty dumb.  It was creepy watching him threaten the high school QB.  Is the girl some kind of shifter or just a hillbilly sex toy?  I could do without the Lafayette/Jesus make-out session, Tara ripping out Franklin's throat or the whole Bill being tortured scene.

Hung
I have no idea why I watch this show.  There are usually some funny moments, but nothing hilarous.  Tonight's episode featured Mageina Tovah, who played Ursala from the Spider-Man movies.  She played some rich girl, who Ray got to bang for her birthday.  She made him sing happy birthday while they had sex. 

And yes ladies, I decided to be nice and post some pictures for you.  It will not happen very often.  So enjoy.

This Week in TV

I figured instead of writing about each television show I watch, it would be easier to just have a weekly write-up of some of the different shows that I enjoyed.

True Blood
We get to see the reason behind Eric's werewolf hatred.  Apparently they killed his family and most likely they were working on orders from Russell (Mississippi vampire king).  The reason it seems that way:  we learn that Russell has been working with werewolves wherever he lives and he also has Eric's father's crown.

I almost always hate Tara's storyline, but this season has been interesting.  Franklin cracks me up, he is the definition of batshit crazy.  His line about girls wanting to have that talk and then him seeing black and waking up next to a bunch of body parts was hilarious.

The Glades
I normally do not watch police shows, mainly because they are always the same.  Fortunately, this show is not so bad.  The main character is funny.  He is just a jerk and extremely annoying to everyone he encounters.  I love it.

Also, the show has my girl Kiele Sanchez.  She plays a nurse, studying to be a doctor.  She has a son and a husband who is in jail.  Jim is trying hard to bang her, as he should be, because she is hot...

Eureka
The fourth season has started off with a little time-traveling.  Carter, Allison, Henry, Jo, and Fargo all head back to the 1940s.  They find a way back, but some things have changed.  For instance, Allison's son no longer has autism or Fargo is in charge of Global Dynamic...

As this week's episode comes to an end, the five realize that they cannot fix the time-line and must adapt to these changes.  I just hope they continue with this and do not fix this problem anytime soon.  Like they did with the whole alternate future where Henry and Carter came back from...

Winter Is Coming

And this is the preview for something I am super excited for...

True Blood/Treme

It is Sunday night (technically Monday morning) and that means two great shows on HBO. 

True Blood
-So the werewolves are really no match for a vampire, unless they are hopped on vampire blood?  Bill pretty much killed the five he faced, or at least three of them.  He ripped an ear off one and did not face the one named Cooter.

-A war between Mississippi and Louisiana?  Really?  Would this be like a battle of the illiterate?  Do all vampires live in the moron states?  I am being mean to both states and I apologize to anyone from there who is reading this.

-Jason is still one of the coolest characters ever.  The stuff that comes out of his mouth cracks me up.  I really hope he decides to take the case of the missing Bill Compton.  He will not find him, but he will probably end up in Alaska fighting Santa Claus.

-Is Jessica's dead trucker going to turn into some kind of freaky zombie?  Like the doctor in Blade?  Jessica should have just talked to Pam, maybe just ask her for help.  Now this thing will be out killing everything and it will be up to Eric to kill it...

-Speaking of Eric, how cool is he?  "Stop crying, it makes me feel.........human."  Goes from being all honest and heartfelt to talking about having primal animalistic sex with Sookie.

-And it all comes back to Sookie, she is oh-so-special.  Oh, and she was Bill's assignment from the Queen?  Hmm, sound odd to anyone?  I know, I know, I should read the books. 

-Only complaint:  the stupid blood/food references.  "He only ate tangerines for a week."  Blood made into dessert, blood champagne.  It was dumb.  Knock it the hell off.

Treme
Tonight was the season finale, and let me say that it was a fantastic season.  It ended the way it started:  with a second line parade.  This time for the funeral of Daymo.

-Annie catches Sonnie being a scumbag and decides to ask Davis if she can stay with him.  This comes after Davis takes Janette out for her final day in New Orleans in an attempt to convince her to stay.  How the hell Davis gets girls is beyond me...

-The show then does a flashback of the characters making their decisions to leave/stay in New Orleans during Katrina.  It was such a cool scene.  Seeing how the characters got to where they are, and how Daymo got arrested. 

-The saddest part had to be when Cray's wife finds his note in his wallet.  She knows it was suicide.  The best part about it though, the way the police handled it.  Especially since she comes down hard on the New Orleans Police Department most of the series.  David Morse is such a good actor...

-The parade of Indians with Big Chief was actually pretty damn cool.  I loved how after it was done, you think that father and son will bond and be all buddy-buddy.  Then they start playing music together and you see that those fights and problems will always be there.

Before I go on to long and tell you all how great the show was, I am just going to recommend everyone start watching Treme.  And I also realize that there was no GOTW this week, so without further adieu:  I give you Kristin Bauer van Straten.  She plays Pam on True Blood.

 I think she is pretty hot and she is such a sassy bitch.  I love it.