why is kurt vonnegut so smart?

I want this. The print too.

kam-bam-reader-man

Little boy is growing up! Next thing we know he'll be studying for the SAT's.

A Dance With Dragons

As most of you can imagine, I was pretty excited about the release of A Dance With Dragons.  I went to Wal-Mart after work on Monday around midnight hoping it was out.  I was informed by the girl old lady working that they did not have it.  I woke up the next day with a sense of purpose.  I went back to Wal-Mart because I was told that it might come on the truck in the morning.  Unfortunately, it was not there and there were no other bookstores in Ebensburg.  I asked Lindsey if there was a bookstore in Johnstown and she said yes.  I then checked my account and found that I had no money.  How depressing!

Lindsey came home from work and surprised me with a copy.  What an awesome girlfriend!  Although, it was probably a bad move for her since she barely saw me after that, haha.  Alright, fun story, but now for the thoughts on the book.

I have decided not to bore you with a lengthy recap.  Honestly, only a few of you actually read books and of that small group, only a few of those people read this series.  Instead, I have decided to just look at some of my predictions and see how close I am.

Jon's Parents
My prediction was Rhaegar and Lyanna.  Unfortunately, it really does seem like Jon is Eddard's bastard son.  More than one character has made a comment about Eddard's woman (I cannot remember her name).  I still believe that Rhaegar and Lyanna ran away together and were probably in love. 

Arya's Blindness
I was right about that and an earlier prediction was that she would become a great assassin.  She refused to allow them to give her the antidote to cure her blindness and she goes about continuing her training.  At one point she figures out who keeps hitting her with the stick and gives him the three things she learned as he wanted.  She also succeeds in killing the insurance agent.  It made me laugh as they explain to Arya what the man does for a living and she is completely astounded that people would waste money on gambling whether there ship makes it or not.

Dorne
Quentyn Martell makes his way to Daenerys and shows her the letter that was an agreement to wed Viserys and the princess of Dorne.  Viserys was to return to Dorne with an army and they would join forces to retake the Iron Throne.  Unfortunately for Quentyn, he is a little late, as Daenerys is about to marry a guy from Meereen.  In his desperation to prove that he is not a loser, he breaks into the pyramid holding the two chained dragons and wants to steal one.  He figures he has a little Targaryen blood in him, he will be fine.  HAHAHA, how does being burnt alive feel Quentyn?  Yeah, he died pretty horrifically. 

Daenerys
I predicted that she would raise an army and come to Westeros.  Well Meereen has been a slight detour.  She has an army and a bunch of enemies, but instead of being a conqueror, she has become a true ruler.  She worries about how to feed her people and keeping them from slavery.  After her wedding, she is almost assassinated by her own husband.

Fortunately, she is saved when Drogon comes to the fighting pit and starts killing people.  She is able to control her dragon and hops on his back and flies away.  They are out hunting together when they come on the khalasar of Khal Jhaqo.  Ser Barristan Selmy has led a coup against Meereen's new king (Daenerys husband, who Barristan believes tried to kill her), but unfortunately, the armies assembled outside have decided on war.

New Predictions
-I still believe that Daenerys will eventually return to Westeros and conquer it or at least become Queen.  I think with Drogon, she will cause Khal Jhaqo to join his khalasar to hers.  I believe that from the first book, when two khalasars met up, they would battle and then the survivors would form into a new one and the leader would be the new khal.  With her new khalasar, she will return to Meereen and defeat the armies outside her walls.

-The new dragon, and I am guessing the real heir to the Iron Throne, Aegon, will not survive.  He will cause a ton of problems and probably give Westeros a real scare, but in the end, he will be defeated by someone.  OR, he will ride one of the other dragons.  As will Victarion, with his horn, but he will turn against his brother and join Daenerys cause as well.  I doubt that last one though.

-Tyrion will reclaim Casterly Rock and become the other force that everyone worries about.  Actually to piss off his sister, he will lend his support to Aegon and eventually Daenerys. 

-What will happen with Jaime?  He is now in the hands of the resurrected Catelyn Stark (Lady Stoneheart).  I loved how he handled the situation with the Bracken's and Blackwoods.  If you combined all three Lannister children, that would make a great king (or queen).  Anyways, I am guessing that Brianne promised to deliver him to Stoneheart in exchange for her life. 

-Jon Snow will not be dead.  He is wounded and will probably be saved by someone.  I have a feeling he will still lead his wildling friends against Ramsay.  Hopefully Jon will kill Ramsay and become the new Lord of Winterfell.  Although, he is still a bastard and if Stannis is dead, he has no shot of being naturalized.

-In fact, is King Stannis really dead?  I just hate Ramsay.  I never liked Theon, but after reading about his horrible captivity, I really want him to go back to the Iron Islands and either claim his right as the king, or just ask his uncle to kill Ramsay.

-I also still believe that the Others will make their way over the Wall or at least make a very good attempt.  The Night's Watch will regret losing Snow, but they will be saved by an unexpected source:  Bran and his friends, the Children of the Forest.

-Speaking of Ned's children:  Rickon will be the new Lord of Winterfell.  Davos will find the boy and help him regain his position. 

I am sure I will think of other things, but since I will have a few years between now and then, I will definitely write more about this series.

ADWD GOTW

This week's GOTW is from a book, which almost always means I have finished reading said book and a review is coming soon.  That is right, I finished A Dance With Dragons and I decided to make Daenerys this week's girlfriend of the week. 

 

 

The Fires of Heaven

Last night I finished reading the fifth book in the Wheel of Time series, The Fires of Heaven.  It was pretty damn good.  There were plenty of really great moments, such as Mat giving away his secret knowledge of war, or Rand losing his virginity. 

The big splash came at the end of the book.  It starts with Moraine dying while I also taking Lanfear with her.  Then, Rand's friends are killed, but he uses balefire to kill Rahvin and thus erase what he did to Rand's friends.  What an awesome weapon, something that can erase someone from existence.  The more powerful the blast, the further back in time it can erase.  I wonder what the consequences were for Rand's actions?  Did someone that Rahvin kill maybe end up living?  Is that who Asmodean was confronted by at the end?  That would be interesting...

Predictions
-Moraine and Lanfear are not dead.  I have a feeling they will come back after meeting with Mat's snake/fox people.  I think it was Lanfear that showed up and killed Asmodean, hence the reason for his surprise.  I also think that when Moraine does come back, she will be more powerful than ever.

-Speaking of snake/fox people, Mat will eventually meet up with Perrin.  Mat's army and Perrin's army will be a major force that will defeat the Whitecloaks and help Rand win the world.

-Elayne and Nynaeve will end up being full Aes Sedai, especially after Nynaeve shows that she has captured one of the Foresaken.  Or they will leave Salidar and head out on their own.  Probably head back to Andor, since Elayne will be needed since people think Morgase is dead.

-I really want to know what is in the letter for Thom from Moraine.  Could it be something about Thom being Elayne's dad?  Yeah, I predicted that last time, and I will stick with it.  Or maybe I am completely wrong.

Aside from predictions, I want to make an observation about the similarities between The Wheel of Time and the Dark Tower.  Both series have technological societies that have been broken and are now much less advanced.  There is an overarching fate/destiny that drives the story:  the wheel and ka.  In fact, there is a saying in the Dark Tower:  "ka is like a wheel."  Hmm, just something I found interesting.

A Little About the Future

Hey there!  This is Josh from the future.  Actually from the year 2130.  Seriously, no bullshit.  I know what you are thinking, how the hell can you be from the future?  Well scientists figured out time travel a few years back and they also figured out that you can go as far back as you want.  Do not ask too many questions, do I look like a scientist?

I realize your next question is probably "how are you still alive, you are 150 years old???"  Yeah, I am pretty old, but that is not too significant anymore.  Scientists figured out how to extend the lifespan of people, the average person now lives to about 200 years old.  Again, I am no scientist, so do not bother asking how this happened.

Now that we have all that kind of crap out of the way, you probably want to know what has been happening in the world.  Well that is what I am here to tell you.

Politics
Things turned to shit in this country in the 2030s.  The economy sucked, the rest of the world surpassed us, we had serious problems.  It did not help that people were living to over 120 on average, yet the retirement was still 70.  Yeah, no one could figure out what the hell was wrong in the world.

Then the people elected Juan Rodriguez, our first Latino president (hey, in this entire time, we have still not had a woman president, haha, suck it feminists--just kidding).  He had radical ideas, one of them was raising the retirement age to 120.  He also decided to legalize marijuana and then tax the shit out of it.  He then decided to force Mexico to be part of the United States, divided it up into eight states.  Pretty much made the place a giant resort.  The rest of the place was used to cultivate weed (which was basically all they did down there to begin with).

All those fears about drugs ruining the country turned out to be false, people pretty much only smoked dope on special occasions.  Especially when the laws for other drugs became insane.  Caught with a little cocaine?  50 years in prison.  Tested positive for heroin?  Penal colony in Mexico.  People began studying and focusing more on becoming intelligent.  This became our greatest export:  knowledge.  Medical, computer, technological, whatever advancement you can think of pretty much happened here.

Technology
Speaking of tech, you are undoubtedly wondering what the world is like in the future.  It took me about ten minutes to remember how to type.  We do everything with our minds now.  So much easier.  I do have some bad news though, still no flying cars.  No land-speeders, none of that cool shit.  Cars are cool now and they use an alternative fuel source.  I cannot mention what though, it would blow your mind, I will give you a hint:  you put it in your coffee.

Sports
I do not want to spoil anything, but the Pirates eventually win the World Series.  I am not even kidding.  I will not say what year, but when they do win it, cherish the hell out of it.  You will not see another one.  Depressing, I know. 

The Steelers win a bunch of Super Bowls.  After Ben retires, they draft a QB who is 6'7, 280, runs a 4.1 40 and can throw the ball 90 yards (some people believe he may be the first genetically engineered athlete, we fans say stop being jealous).  The Pens also win a bunch of Stanley Cups, so you will always have those two to make you happy.

The Yankees sign the first player to a $1,000,000,000 contract.  He is a short-stop from Ireland and ends up breaking the HR record.  He hits over 900.  They win a shit ton of World Series with him, most consider it a good investment.

People in America still do not give a shit about soccer.

Random Stuff
-George R.R. Martin finally finishes A Song of Ice and Fire in 2056.  You were right, Jon is Rhaegar's son.  He and Daenarys rule the entire world.  Hope that does not ruin it for ya.

-Movie franchises start combining and become absolutely ridiculous, such as Fast and the Furious 21:  The Rise of the Raging Transformers.  Or Saw 87:  Jigsaw vs. James Bond. 

Oh and the most important thing is about your own future Josh:  You will end up
OH SHIT!  HERE COMES THE TIME-COP, I NEED TO RUN FOR IT!

WOT GOTW

Since I finished reading the fourth book in the Wheel of Time and starting the fifth book, I have realized that one of my favorite moments of this entire series has been Perrin and Faile's relationship.  Hell, would you people be shocked if I said that it brought a tear to my eyes when they got married?  So for this week's GOTW, I decided that Zarine "Faile" ni Bashere t'Aybara should be honored.

The Shadow Rising

The book I read while on the beach was The Shadow Rising, the fourth book of The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.  The book started off pretty slow, mostly with Rand handing out in Tear, making some kingly decisions and every once in awhile fighting with evil things sent to attack him.

Then the group splits up and things start to get crazy.  Rand and Mat head to the Aiel Waste (Egwene and Moraine come along as well).  Perrin heads back to the Two Rivers and becomes a leader against Trolloc raids.  Elayne and Nynaeve head to Tarabon and seek out the Black Ajah.  Once all the characters split, it was hard to put the book down.  I am just going to mention some of my favorite parts with each character.

Mat
-I love that he wants to go back to the fox people (or the snake people) and teach them a lesson.  I also enjoy that he must be descended from maybe the Manatheran king or something.  He might be my new favorite character.

Rand
-I love how he no longer seems unsure of himself.  He knew all along that one of the Foresaken would be in the Waste.  He does not fear Moraine any longer, plus he just likes to infuriate her with his vague answers (like she did with he and the others in the beginning).

-It seems that I was wrong so far about Elayne.  Rand seems to be leaning pretty heavily that way (although, the Aiel girl seems to be catching his eye as well).

Perrin
-I am totally going to sound like a girl right now, but it was such a sweet moment when he and Faile got married.  I love that they fought so much, but then when she heard his family was murdered, none of that mattered.

-I wonder what Elayne's mom (under the influence of a Foresaken) will do when she finds out that Perrin is being called a lord and they are flying the old Manatheran banner down in the Two Rivers?  I bet she will not be happy.

Interesting Revelations
-It seems that pretty much everyone has some women that can channel.  The Sea People, Seanchan, Aiel, and who knows who else.

-I love the idea that the Tinkers are actually the original Aiel.  The Aiel used to serve the Aes Sedai (back before the Breaking and the world was much more advanced, sounds like they had flying cars) and the Aiel were extremely non-violent.  When Rand was reliving his past, it was interesting to see how they continued to split at times.

-Will it turn out that Thom is Elayne's father?  That would be interesting, although a bit too convenient.

-I wonder if Mat and Perrin will meet up together at this weird tower that was mentioned.  It was mentioned that they are connected and the way to defeat them might be in the old Snake and Foxes game.  Mat and Perrin together could probably outsmart them since they are such opposites.

-I love that the Aes Sedai ended up stilling Siuan and Leane and that they are now working with Min and Logaine.  That is probably why Min saw a halo (or crown) around his head.

-I think that when this series ends, Rand will still be alive and he will usher in a golden age.  He will find a way to get rid of the Dark One and remove the taint that drives men who can channel mad.  Or he will die a hero.  I know, a bold prediction.

Game of Thrones: The Wolf and the Lion

Holy shit what an awesome episode!  If someone turned this on and decided to start at just this episode, they would have probably had a heart attack.  Anyways, let me tell you about some of the crazy shit that happened:

-I wondered last week if they would show the end of the joust.  They did, and HBO did not disappoint.  After the Mountain is unseated by Ser Loras (he used a mare that was in heat, which sent the Mountain's stallion into a horny fit), he grabs his broadsword and hacks his horses head off.  He then proceeds to go after Ser Loras (so aptly nicknamed "The Knight of Flowers"), which causes the Hound to step in.  They have a pretty good fight until King Robert screams enough.

-Ned resigns as the Hand because Robert wants to kill Daenerys before she can give birth.  Ned wants no part of it.  As Ned prepares to leave King's Landing, Littlefinger offers to take him to the last person Jon Arryn met with.  They go to a whore house and we find another of Robert's bastards.  As they leave, Jaime shows up with a bunch of Lannister guards and demands they take Ned since his wife took his brother.  An awesome battle ensues.  Jory takes a dagger to the eye from Jaime and then the battle we have been waiting for finally comes:  Ned versus Jaime!  It is a pretty good fight, until one of the guards jabs a spear through Ned's leg.  Jaime knocks the dude out.

-Elsewhere, Tyrion's captors come under attack from the hill tribes.  Cat frees him and he thinks about leaving until he sees one of the crazy guys about to attack Lady Stark.  He ends up killing the man with a shield.  We also get to see Bronn in action, dude is pretty badass with a sword.

-The Eyrie was pretty amazing looking.  Also, the chick that plays Catelyn's sister Lysa, does a great job of being batshit crazy.  She is breastfeeding her son, who looks about eight years old.  They put Tyrion in his cell, which if I remember correctly from the book, is sloped and this scares Tyrion because he is afraid of rolling out in his sleep.  You can tell it is sloped slightly in the show because there is water running through the grooves.

-There was also a pretty good scene that was not in the book.  Renly and Loras are shirtless together, with Loras shaving Renly's chest.  Later Renly receives a blowjob from Loras.  In the book, it is hinted that they were together, but that is about it.  They also discuss in the scene the idea of Renly becoming the king with Loras' family's money backing him.  This serves as a great setup for things that will happen later down the road. Spoiler ahead I suppose.  It was always a shock when Renly announced he was one of the kings after Robert's death.

One of the things I loved about the books was all the cool false-foreshadowing.  If you thought something was going to happen, then usually something else would happen and it would be completely unexpected.

For example, I really thought there would be a moment where the Mountain would meet Hodor.  When describing Hodor's size, people would mention how the only person who was bigger was the Mountain.  I always figured the Lannister's would attack Winterfell and the Mountain would attack Bran, leading to a showdown between giants.  Sadly, this never happened, but what does happen is equally awesome.

Easter Part Two

I could not resist to post some more Easter stuff.  I will be out at my grandparents all day playing cards and eating ham (I am sure this is the entire reason Jesus rose from the dead...it had nothing to do with wanting to eat brains).  Enjoy some of these funny pictures.

I love the last one.  He looks so serious and yet Jesus holding a rifle, it looks so damn right.  Hmm, maybe in the next Dark Tower book, Roland and Jake can meet the Man Jesus and teach him their saying...

"I do not aim with my hand; I aim with my eye.
He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

I do not shoot with my hand; I shoot with my mind.
He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

I do not kill with my gun; I kill with my heart.
He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father."

~Roland of Gilead~

 Oh, and Oy would definitely kick the Easter Bunny's ass. 

The Heroes

I finished the newest Joe Abercrombie novel in three days (interesting is that the majority of the book takes place over a three day period).  It was absolutely fantastic.  Abercrombie definitely keeps getting better as a writer.  Instead of everything being dark and depressing at the end, there were at least a few bright spots at the end of the day.  The story takes place up north as the Union fight against Black Dow and the rest of the North.

The book focuses on characters from both sides and mainly how they are not really heroes.  During the main battle, Abercrombie does something I really enjoyed.  He takes the POV of a character from one side of the battle, and then as he is killed, he switches to the POV of the person doing the killing, and then when that person gets killed, he switches to that killer.  He did this before (at least I think so), but he did it for a much longer section this time.  Anyways, like the last two movies, I will be doing a casting call for my own movie version.  There will probably be spoilers from here on out.

Curnden Craw
He is a Named Man on Black Dow's side.  He is considered a straight-edge, a guy who always does the right thing.  The funny thing is, once he retires, his second (Wonderful) decides that doing the right thing generally means not getting paid.  It is funny how they all fight for him, yet they were sick and tired of doing things his way.  Unfortunately, retirement does not stick and when Hardbread asks him to join Scale's side, he gives up carpentry and picks his sword back up.

I picture him as Robert Duvall.  He is older, constantly bitching about wanting to retire, but also he keeps saying things about how you have to do the right thing and stand by your chief.   Duvall just looks like he could pick up a sword and be a bad-ass, but always would keep his warped sense of honor.

Prince Calder
The youngest son of Bethod, the former King of the North.  He believes that peace is the North's best shot.  He is a known coward and everyone makes fun of him.  After his brother (Scale) is apparently killed, he must lead his men in the battle.  He does so and earns their respect, but not before mentioning to Craw that they need to kill Black Dow.  Because of Craw believing in doing the right thing, he tells Dow everything.  Black Dow wants to kill Calder.  Calder cleverly challenges Black Dow to fight in the circle.

I actually saw this going one of three ways:  Calder somehow finds a berserker rage (much like the Bloody-Nine) and kills Dow.  Black Dow savagely kills Calder and we learn the lesson that the little guy never rises up to beat the bad guy.  Or my third option was that Logen would show up and offer to fight in the circle for Calder.  I still do not believe Logen is dead, I am guessing he will show up in the next series.  Anyways, Shivers steps up and helps Calder out, which was pretty much a shock.  It also reaffirmed my choice for Shivers from the last time. 

By the end of the book, Calder is the new King of the North, but then Bayaz tells him that he was the reason Calder is where he is.  Bayaz also tells him that Scale is alive, which leaves Calder with a tough decision:  kill his brother or let him be king.  He chooses the second option, which was pretty cool.  So who has the stones to play the smirking, smug bastard?  How about Michael Fassbender?  Just look at that smirk...plus he is a good actor.  Do you remember how smug and cocky he was in 300? 

Bremer dan Gorst
He is probably one of the greatest swordsmen in the world.  No joking on that one.  He pretty much takes on many of the Northmen on his own.  Unfortunately after the last book, he disgraced himself and got sent to the North as an observer.  He went back to his former training (running for miles in full armor, fencing for hours each morning...) and is now back at peak performance.

He battles Scale on the bridge and cuts him down.  He beats the crap out of Glama Golden.  He also kills Whirrun of Bligh.  He scares half the Northmen just by strolling through the battlefield.  He is just an absolute bad-ass.  His letters to the king are quite funny.  At the end, during negotiations, he almost attacks Shivers because he thinks he recognizes him (events from Best Served Cold).  Again, this is why my previous choice for Shivers was perfect.  As Gorst grabs him and asks if he was ever at Cardotti's, Shivers leans close and says "never heard of it." 

The biggest problem with Gorst is that his voice is very high and that is why everyone makes fun of him.  I figure Manu Bennett from Spartacus:  Blood and Sand would be perfect.  He pretty much has no neck and looks like he would scare the shit out of everyone.  Just need to work on the voice.

Beck
Beck is one of the few happy stories in this book.  He is just a young kid, he joins the Northmen trying to earn his name.  He used to daydream about being a fearless warrior just like his father.  During his first battle, he pisses his pants, hides in a cupboard, and then stabs one of his fellow soldiers.   No one knows this though and he earns the name Red Beck because everyone thinks he killed four Union soldiers.

He later joins up with Craw's men and during one of the major battles he heeds Craw's advice:  stand by your chief.  When Gorst kills Whirrun and is about to kill Craw, Beck hits him in the back of the head with the flat end of his sword, knocking Gorst out.

After the battle, Beck refuses his payment from Wonderful because he does not feel it is right that they did not help Black Dow even though they stood for him.  He leaves the group and goes back home to his mom and brothers.  He is happy to finally be back on the farm and decides he never wants to be like his father.  Who else could play this kid other than Aaron Johnson from Kick-Ass?  He is a bigger kid, but he still looks young and naive enough. 

Black Dow

This is the guy who used to fight alongside Logen and is considered an even more savage killer than him.  He supposedly killed Logen, but I honestly do not believe it (as I already said).  He ends up dead from Shivers, who tells him that he is no one's dog.  I loved it.  Again, this is why Alexander Skarsgard is perfect as shivers.  But, who could play Black Dow?

There has only been one choice this entire time.  From about page 44 on, I kept picturing Ian McShane and his awesomeness as Al Swearengen from Deadwood.  It was the exchange with Stranger-Come-Knocking that did it for me.  As Stranger goes on about the different men he killed, Black Down just keeps tossing out funny little comments.  "I crushed a man's skull in my hand."  Dow:  "Messy."  "I was pierced with many arrows during a battle."  Dow:  "You should get a shield." 

And then at the end when he says he has given Calder every chance, he just reminded me so much of Swearengen.  It is an absolutely perfect fit.  He just might have to hit the gym before the filming.

Corporal Tunny
A Union soldier who has served for many years.  He pretty much seems like the Union's version of Calder.  He jokes about not actually doing any fighting and all he really wants is to make money in numerous ways.  He seems to be a jerk to the new recruits.

When his one moment comes though and they attack a wall (which Calder set up as a decoy), he is the first over the wall and ready to fight.  He also writes letters to the families of the men who died under his command, yet does not want anyone to see it.  I am sure he will pop up again in the next series when the army heads to Styria (maybe he will end up joining sides with Cosca, they would be like best friends...or did Cosca die at the end of Best Served Cold, I cannot remember.)

I keep thinking of Dean Winters for the role.  He was awesome as O'Reily on Oz and he is great in those Allstate commercials.

Whirrun of Bligh
He is pretty much crazy.  He believes some witch who told him when he would die and apparently he does not think it will be the day that he actually dies.  He carries a sword called The Father of Swords, and when he unsheathes it, the rule is that it must be blooded.

During the last battle, he shows up wearing no shirt because he does not believe he will die that day.  Everyone is scared of him because he is such a nut-job (his nickname is Cracknut).  He reminds me of Tig from Sons of Anarchy.  Tig is a little nuts and pretty funny.  Kim Coates would be perfect (especially if you ever saw Waterworld and his crazy character in that movie).

I loved how as he was dying, he gives his sword to Craw and tells him to bury it with him, that way it's curse can end with him.  I also enjoyed how he says that he has never actually been to Bligh, but he must have received the name since most Northmen only know one place up in neck of the woods (I think he was from the Crinna, like Stranger).

Stranger-Come-Knocking
He is described as a giant, but with a somewhat soft voice.  He is also obsessed with making the people of his land more civilized.  He did not have a large role in the book, but when he shows up, he is great.  I am guessing that he will have to be mostly CGI or something.  Plus, whoever plays him will have to be able to have a great exchange with Black Dow and then become all soft when talking to Calder or Finree.  How about Jared Padalecki?  He is already a big dude, and in Supernatural, he goes from a nice, soft-voiced guy, to an all out bad-ass pretty quickly.   Plus, he usually has some funny exchanges with Jensen Ackles.

Finree dan Brock

The wife of Colonel Brock, whose father was considered a traitor against King Jezal.  She is also the daughter of Lord Marshall Kroy.  She is ambitious and very knowledgeable about the military.  She is captured by Stranger, but later turned over to Black Dow in order to discuss a peace agreement.

Gorst is in love with her and at the end of the book he makes a fool of himself by telling her how great of a warrior he is, which she pretty much tears him apart.  She will pretty much do anything to get ahead in life.  By the end, Bayaz has made her husband the Lord Governor of Angland (it borders the North), which is basically what she wanted.  She has dark hair and is very hot.  Hmm, so many women to choose from.

I like Sienna Miller.  She is hot (she even looks hot with dark hair, which she will need for the role) and if you remember her in Stardust, she was a perfect manipulative bitch. 

Aliz dan Brint
She is the wife of Brint (a character from the first series) and the only friend of Finree.  She is very naive and a bit of a twit.  I am guessing she is pretty hot though, since Jezel and Brint are friends, and she probably has been in the company of the queen.   She is the blond one and her story does not end well.  Whereas Finree gets to leave Stranger's company, she does not.  I am guessing she got banged by a giant.  Why even bother mentioning her?  I wanted to post another picture of a girl, I ain't gay (not that there is anything wrong with that.)  How about Hilary Duff?  She is hot and young...

Wonderful

She is Craw's second and a pretty tough lady.  I am guessing she must not be all that hot or she would have probably gotten raped awhile ago.  I am guessing that since she has been with Craw for awhile now, she must be a littler older.  I figured Linda Hamilton would be good.  I could believe her holding up a sword and fighting against Northmen.

Although, I have seen some pictures of her where she looks older than Robert Duvall.  Whatever, she was ripped in T2.

Obviously this is not all the characters.  If you want my choices for other characters from previous books, go here and here.  I also had another prediction during the book:  the character Red-Hat, the second to the Dogman, was going to actually be either Logen or Major West (he must have been promoted to Lord Marshall at some point, since he got a passing mention).  It appears that I was wrong though.  Anyways, let me know what you think.

The Dragon Reborn

It took awhile, but I finally finished The Dragon Reborn, the third book in the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.  It has nothing to do with how good the book was, more to do with the fact that I spent most of my free time playing NHL11.  Now that my season is finished though, I decided to finish the book.

It was a great book and I guess I have noticed a trend in these books:  stuff happens for awhile, little adventures and then everything gets a little crazy at the end.  It is a cool thing.  Most of my predictions are still a possibility, which is a good thing (it shows how smart I am).

There were only a few complaints I had about the book and most of them were pretty minor.  The first one is the whole Mat being this awesome quarterstaff wielder.  I get that most of his fights later in the book revolve around his luck, but the first one seemed kind of silly.  Also, I hated how the teacher tossed out the story about how the greatest swordsman of all time lost only once to a quarterstaff wielding farmer.  Oh and then Mat remembers how his father always won during the festivals, unless Tam beat him.  It just seemed so...pointless and convenient? 

There is really no need to make Mat a great fighter.  Rand and Perrin make sense, but Mat is the trickster, he relies on his wits.  Also, after awhile he started to seem like a similar character to Rand and Perrin.  I did enjoy that he started to deduce that his luck worked when things were more random.

The other thing I did not like was how Egwene read about the ter'angreal that influences the holders luck and she thinks how it would really help Mat.  And then, just like that all of Mat's luck seems to be good.  I am guessing that when Selene visited him she gave him something...and yes I still think that Selene is Lanfear.  I noticed that all the other Foresaken all use a similar phrase:  "so-called Aes Sedai." 

My favorite part was at the end when Rand takes the sword and decides to follow Ba'alzamon by creating a portal (he has no clue to where or how he did it) and before he steps in he says "Now I am the hunter."  That was a very cool part, as was the Aiel saying they were the People of the Dragon. 

I will change a prediction though.  Mat will end up with Elayne.  He is going to constantly rub it in to the three girls about them not really thanking him for saving him.  Their relationship will start off a little rocky.  They will be mean to each other and then they will realize they have feelings for each other.  Why do I think that?  It will basically copy Zarine and Perrin's start.

2010 In Review

Instead of recapping the entire year, which is never any kind of fun, I will just go over some of the highlights of 2010.  It was a pretty damn good year.

-I finally bought a laptop, which has pretty much been the best investment ever.  Sitting on the couch while writing these posts is much better than sitting at a desk.  Speaking of posts, 2010 was my busiest year with over 300 posts.  That is kind of exciting (or lame depending on your POV).

-I went to a bunch of sporting events this year.  A few in Pittsburgh, a couple in Altoona, and one over at State College.  I also got to enjoy tailgating for the Blue/White game and the Temple game.  I even made a trip to Washington D.C. to see the Nationals and Pirates play.  Speaking of awesome sporting events, I experienced two firsts:  my first Pens game and my first regular season Steelers game.  I also got to see Stephen Strasburg make his minor league debut against the Curve.

-This was also a very sad year since two of my favorite TV shows ended:  Lost and 24.  I actually did a couple of special things to commemorate such great shows (even though 24 constantly pissed me off with some of its stupid story lines).  My Best of 24 was pretty cool (at least I thought so), yet none of you jerks commented on it.  Also, I was so impressed with my Lost GOTW and the amount of work I put into it, and again, no one really noticed.  I think it caused me to die a little inside that no one said how awesome it was...

I will post it again for your enjoyment, only in a slightly smaller version.  Do not strain your eyes too much trying to enjoy all the hotties.

-There were plenty of great TV shows in 2010.  In fact, this year was a much better television than movie year.  Mad Men, Always Sunny, Justified, Boardwalk Empire, Treme, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, Archer, The Walking Dead, and The League.  Also there were plenty of enjoyable shows like Warehouse 13, Eureka, White Collar, Human Target, and Supernatural.  I am sure I am forgetting some.

-Speaking of movies, what all did I see this year?  Iron Man 2, Inception, Kick-Ass, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Social Network, The Disappearance of Alice Creed, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Sherlock Holmes, The Chronicles of Narnia:  Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Daybreakers. I really feel like I went to the movies more than this, but I guess I did not.  I think there were a few movies I saw that were just crappy and I did not care about.

-I will not list all the books I read over 2010.  It was not nearly as many as years past, I think my total was only thirteen.  Granted, five of those books were around 1000 pages each, so it was probably about the same amount of reading as previous years.

-The biggest thing to happen in 2010 though was the changes in my life.  I met Lindsey and we moved in together up here in New Germany.  She makes me incredibly happy and I feel like a better person because of her.  If she is reading up to this point, I hope she knows how much I love her.  Sorry to the rest of you for having to read a little personal stuff.

-Now on to the best of list...

Best Movie:  This is a tough one, it comes down to Kick-Ass and Inception.  Many people will say The Social Network was the best movie, and I definitely thought it was good, but I look at it from the stand point of which movie will I watch more than once?  Which of those movies will I stop when I see they are on HBO and watch them from wherever they are in the film.  I would have to say that award goes to Kick-Ass.

Best TV Show:  All those great shows listed above, yet it comes down to two:  Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy.  I could not wait every week to watch these two shows.  And I usually watched the episodes again during their reshowing.  SOA was great, but did not compare to last season and at times I felt like the Tara storyline was dragging on.  MM does not have the action, but it just holds you in it's thrall each week.  It is hard to explain to people why it is such a good show.  Anyways, that was the best show in my opinion.

Best Book:  Only three of the books I read this year actually came out in 2010.  I think the best one of that small group was Are We Winning?  It was a great book and I pretty much recommend it to any baseball fan.

Best Comic Book:  I will not lie, I have not read many comics this year.  In fact, I stopped getting individual issues and decided just to get trades.  Of everything I read, I would say that The Walking Dead is still the best on-going series I read.  Maybe 2011 will be a better year.

Anyways, that is my thoughts on 2010.  Who knows what 2011 will hold for me...

Girlfriend of the Week

This weeks GOTW is Egwene al'Vere, one of the characters in the Wheel of Time series.  It sounds like she is pretty hot in the book, and judging by some of the fan art, I am guessing she is...sorry, I am tired, so this is all you get from me.

The Great Hunt

Last night I finished the second book of the Wheel of Time series called The Great Hunt.  The book was excellent.  The story picks up right where the first one left off.  Rand wants to leave his friends and hide away somewhere so he does not hurt anyone.  Moraine seems to be pushing him to be the Dragon Reborn.

Then something unexpected happens:  Fain escapes from his dungeon and steals the horn and Mat's dagger.  The Amyrlin Seat sends an expedition after the horn.  Rand, Mat, Perrin, and Lord Ingtar lead a bunch of soldiers.  They have a bunch of adventures, but it is not until the end of the book that things go from exciting to super-intense.

Hawkwing's descendants come from the west with an army and a new technology:  a'dam.  These collars bind a woman who can channel to a woman with a bracelet.  They control these women and use them as weapons.  And they torture them.  Liandrin of the Red Shah takes Nynaeve, Egwene, Elayne, and Min to these Seanchan.  Egwene and Min are captured and Egwene is forced to wear a collar.  She is horribly tortured.  Finally, Nynaeve and Elayne find a way to rescue her and they discover something quite useful:  the bracelet wearers also can channel.

Also during this time, Rand and his men find the horn and also encounter Lord Turak, who is a heron-marked blademaster.  He wants to battle Rand.  At first Rand is losing, but then he slips into the void and easily defeats the Lord.  We then learn that Ingtar was the soldier in the prologue who was working for the Dark One.

Mat sounds the horn and the legends of old return and they follow Rand because he is the Dragon Reborn.  Rand then encounters Ba'alzamon and they battle again.  Rand defeats him, but his sword is destroyed in the process.  Unfortunately, the image of the fight is seen across the sky above the city of Falme.  Ingtar's men all bow to Rand now that they know Rand is the Dragon Reborn.

Predictions and thoughts for what will continue to happen:

-All of my old predictions are still valid.  Except that it seems like Min is also in the running for Rand.

-Selene is going to turn out to be Lanfeal the Foresaken.  I think that was pretty obvious, but I guess I'll voice it now in case it turns out to be the only thing I get right.

-Who is the other Black Ajah that we saw in the prologue?  So many options, but I really think it might be Verin.  It seems to make sense.  She is of the Brown, but why did she take such a sudden interest in helping Rand?  Even Moraine said she came on her own, that she did not send Verin.

-It always seems that in fantasy books, there is a point where you can say "if they just did something different, everything would have been so simple."  For example, in LOTR, if Gandalf would have used the Eagles to fly the ring to Mount Doom, it would have been a much quicker journey.  I know I have talked about this before.  Anyways, Jordan does a great job of eliminating this moment.  In other books, Rand would come off as whiny, but he seems to be at least somewhat accepting of his destiny, especially towards the end.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

On Friday night Lindsey and I went to see the newest Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  I realize that many people did not really like the last movie, but I did, so screw those people.  This film was pretty good.  I doubt any of these will be as good as the first one, but it is fun to see them on-screen.

The film continues the adventures of Lucy and Edmund in Narnia, but this time they bring their horrible cousin, Eustace.  They meet up with King Caspian on his ship as he searches for the lost lords.  They have a bunch of adventures and learn lessons about themselves and life.  The book always seemed like just a series of short stories, so I always wondered how they would make it into a movie, which they found a way by introducing the idea of the seven swords of Narnia that will help defeat the great evil from the one island.  It helps tie the entire adventure together.

Here are some of the highlights and lowlights of the film...

-Simon Pegg does a nice job as Reepicheep, but honestly, Eddie Izzard was much better.  Although Pegg did give Reep an older voice, I guess a mouse would age a bit in three years.

-I liked that Lucy was now more grown up and took Susan's bow or had no problem handling a sword.  Also, I enjoyed her side story about wanting to be beautiful like Susan.

-The world of Narnia, yet again looks amazing.  Plus the way they make England look dreary and faded as compared to the crisp/sharp Narnia is pretty cool.

-The kid playing Eustace was awesome.  He was so damn irritating at the beginning that I wanted Edmund to just beat his ass.  It was also a very sad moment when he is crying as a dragon and Reep sits with him and tells him stories.  The transformation of Eustace is one of my favorite things in the entire series, so I am kind of a sucker for his story. 

-Why did Caspian lose his accent?  I remember in the second film, Ben Barnes said he tried to do an Inigo Montoya accent from The Princess Bride.  I guess he just forgot about that part. 

-I also did not really like the way they did the Edmund/Caspian rivalry.  Why would Edmund resent the idea that Caspian has Peter's sword or that he does not get to make decisions.  I cannot remember if this was in the movie (maybe at a point where they were enchanted by the pool or something), but it seemed like the movie was trying hard to make this a plot point that did not need to be.  Edmund facing his demons (the White Witch) was a cool point.  You do not need to revert Edmund back to a jealous younger sibling.  He proved in the last film he was no longer like that.  Not at all jealous of Peter.

-I have no problem admitting that I cried during the first movie, but not during the second one.  I did cry a little bit at this one.  Does that make me a little less of a man?  Screw you guys.

Anyways, it is a good film.  If you enjoyed the books, check it out. 

Mmmmm, I can see why Lucy wants to look like Susan...

Game of Thrones Stuff...

Here is a ten minute video about Game of Thrones, the new series from HBO.  As you can imagine, I am a little excited.

Inside Game of Thrones

This is Emilia Clarke who plays Daenerys, who I have plenty of theories about if you read my reviews of the books...

Christmas Gift Ideas

Every year I toil away at my computer, trying to find ways to entertain you.  And yet, none of you ever send me any gifts come Christmas time.  That is ridiculous.  I expect that will change this year.  You feel bad that you have not bought me anything and want to make up for it.  The only one of you that is exempt from this is Michelle since she bought me the first four Sookie Stackhouse books for my birthday (I think she may have mentioned how I should read them every time I wrote something about True Blood).  Here are a few ideas for you:

DVDs
At some point in life I will buy either a PS3 or a BluRay player, therefore I have been cutting back on the number of DVDs I purchase.  That being said, I would love it if someone bought me the first season of Community.  I hear it is quite hilarious.

Books
I actually would prefer if no one bought me any books for awhile.  I am quite behind on my reading list.  I have the Wheel of Time, the Sookie books, a few other random ones sitting there screaming my name.  It is just too much.

Comics
If one of you would be so kind as to head to the Comic Swap in State College and pick up my subscription list, that would be much appreciated.  Thanks.

See folks, I do not ask for much.  Now get out there and get these simple things done.

The Eye of the World

I recently picked up the first three books of the Wheel of Time series.  Greg Howley constantly talks about the series (not just in his review, but also in many of the comments here).

The first book is fantastic.  The characters are great, my favorite is probably Perrin or Rand.  My favorite little thing from the entire book is the way that both characters wish they had the others ability to talk to girls.

At first I was not thrilled the way the book ended.  We kept getting this idea that Rand would face Ba'alzamon, but not for a long time.  I figured Rand would learn about his powers and become a master swordsman.  Instead (oh and this could be a spoiler), Rand becomes Superman and destroys Ba'alzamon (I doubt he is really dead though).

The more I thought about it though, the more I loved it.  By the end, Moraine realizes that Rand is the Dragon Reborn.  It sets up for Rand to become the true villain.  He may have a great inner battle to fight throughout the rest of the series.

Here are some of my predictions for the rest of the series:
-Perrin will at some point return with the wolves and maybe find others like him.  He will become the leader of an army of men like him and tons of wolves.

-Perrin will be the one to end up with Egwene.  When they were together, it seems that Perrin has feelings for her.  He would get jealous when she danced with that one guy and always felt awkward when looking for the right things to say.  Also, Min said that Egwene and Rand will not be together the way they want...

-Speaking of Rand, I think he will end up with Elayne.  She thought he was handsome and he thinks she is beautiful.  He will be the Dragon Reborn and she will be his queen.  Maybe he will destroy the world, but I think he will end up helping to rid the taint of the Dark One.

-The next question is who is Rand's father?  I am sure that his mother was his actual mother, but her father was someone extremely important.  Maybe a king, I am guessing he was one of those Anielman (was that the name?).  Lan must have been a body guard or maybe a Warder.

-Will Moraine be a good witch or a bad witch?  I have no clue.  Will she try to stop Rand (I think the term is gentle him) or does she want the Dragon Reborn to become powerful?  Maybe she believes the world needs men Aes Sedai...

Game of Thrones Teaser 2

This is the second teaser for HBO's A Game of Thrones series.  Yes, I am that excited.

"Raven" Preview